Received our check in email today

Well, we received our check in email today.

It basically said, Happy Spring, hope you are enjoying the weather. We can call in for our check ins if we want (we typically do email because it's often hard to get ahold of them by phone). And she asked if we had any questions or concerns (well, it's kind of hard to vocalize them, since they can't answer them anyway....)

Then, she said she liked the changes we made to our profiles (last Dec) and that they are sharing them with birthmothers who match our preferences. She suggested we revisit our Welcome binder and take a look at the "recommended reading". We've actually read most of it already.

Lastly, she said they will continue to present our profile (and we got the usual- none needed at this time) and we go from there.

Well, I guess that's it for this month. Nothing new to report.

9 months

We hit 9 months since being contracted out today. 9 months. If we'd found out we were pregnant that date, we'd have a baby by now. But no. We're still in the unknown stage. Who knows how long it's going to be for us. We're "paper pregnant". Major difference between paper pregnancy and a physical one is that most of the time you know the general outcome and timeline of a phyisical pregnancy. But for us, who knows? Ah, well, what can we do?

Focus on the postive. Get some rest. And relax and enjoy our time together before our lives change forever, I guess.

glad it's a busy week

So glad it's a busy week for us. It keeps us from thinking about Thursday. Thursday is the 29th, and the day of our monthly check in. We know what they are going to say, but still, we look forward to it. We also dread it, because we know what they are going to say "we have plenty of profiles, thanks - talk to you next month!". The 29th will be 9 months since contracted out for us. So, we're past the normal "pregnancy" and still waiting... I guess our "gestation" is going to just be a bit longer than the norm. Ah, well. Enough thinking about it, time to get stuff done!

Productive day

Well, today was a pretty productive day. My friend called last night, asking if I could watch her little one today. She brought her over about 930, little one was so tired after a little snuggle she fell asleep and I put her to sleep in the crib. After about an hour nap or so, she was up and ready to play. So she and I played in the nursery. I brought in lots of toys, and put up the baby gate. I worked on organizing the closet, and she kept me company. She loved to help me too, especially with the plastic kids coat hangers. We had fun, read a couple books, and got stuff done.

The closet is (almost) all organized. I pulled out the onsies and single tops and bottoms. I matched up what I could, and put them back in the closet. Then, the onesies and unmatched stuff I organized in the dresser. For the clothes in the closet, everything is organized by size. Then, sleepers in the front, boy clothes, then girl clothes. In doing all this, I realized we have a good basic beginning for 3 and 6 month clothes, but almost nothing in newborn and 9 month. I'll keep that in the back of my mind for future use :) We shop sales, and are always looking for good deals. If we come upon one, we take advantage of it, and stock up some. That way, we have clothes for an insta match situation. At least enough clothes for a week or so until we can go shopping!

Mike and I went to Hobby Lobby in search of some pictures. We didn't find any frames we liked, but we did find two pictures (one is the night time prayer, the other a cruise ship) that will go nicely in the room. We are not painting the walls of the room, but rather putting up pictures - mostly of boats. I also showed him the letters I like. When we are finally matched up, and know what we are having, my mom will paint some letters to hang over the crib- in between the two sailboat pictures she has already painted. Obviously we are not doing that yet ;)

Anyway, tonight we are going to throw some steaks on the grill, make some baked potatoes, and have a nice dinner. It's beautiful weather, perfect for grilling out. And what a wonderful way to spend the evening.

Another friend got matched today :)

Woohoo!

I am so excited for her. Her little girl is being induced APRIL 2nd. Wow, talk about fast :) That's fantastic news :)

So, three of my friends were matched in the last month, and all three are going to be mommies to little girls within a month and a half of each other. How fantastic is that?

I'm bouncing off the walls, I'm so excited for them!

Great news for my friends

I was chatting online with a friend of mine who lives in California. They talked to a birthmother today, and were matched! That makes 2 of my friends who are using the same adoption facilitator as us who have been matched this month.

One other found her own birth mother through networking. And they thought it might be twins. Turns out, it's triplets! Wow, she'll be busy!

I am so excited for my friends. They are all going to be awesome parents :)

Nothing new to report for us. We're starting to network a bit. We figure it can't hurt. We plan on eventually having two or three children, so we might as well start networking now. You never know how are where you are going to be matched up with a birthparent. Who knows how many of our little ones will be matched up through our agency, and how many are matched through networking. We're prepared for any and all situations. We've got a great adoption lawyer and a home study. Everything but a match. They'll come eventually :)

Emotions

Adoption is a roller coaster, that's for sure.

Lately, I've been watching shows on discovery health - adoption stories and a few others. So sweet to hear other people's stories, yet so hard, it brings a tear to your eyes.

We can't wait to be one of those happy families.

We will say, it's nice to spend alone time, just the two of us. We are taking advantage of those "selfish" times, enjoying the moment of just us. Doing things like going out to dinner, sleeping in, just hanging out, things we won't be able to do quite as much when kids are in the picture.

But still, we welcome the challenge, want to be parents so bad that it hurts. Wondering why no one picks us. Sometimes we have to close the door to the nursery, not look at the tiny clothes that are waiting for a baby. The changing table, all ready to go. Diapers, wipes, blankets, everything waiting for a little one.

And stores. Baby things, baby stores, baby clothing. How can you miss a baby sale? Such cute little things in the baby section. It's so hard sometimes to go to the store, and avoid the baby section- be it clothing or supplies. We can't wait to shop there, buying stuff for our little one(s).

The ride sure is interesting.

relationships take work

We are very fortunate. Often times couples who go through infertility and/or adoption experience a more challenging relationship. Fights, arguments, blame as to who might be the problem, or what the problem is, what is causing it to take so long, etc. Lucky for us, we've never had any problems at all. We both realize what is happening, and what needs to happen. And as a team we work together to build our family. Has it been easy? No. But we never let the struggle to build our family interfere with our relationship. And for that, we are much happier. And, we know that our little ones will grow up in a strong and happy household.

This also applies to friends, family, loved ones. And it works both ways. Don't be afraid to share your good news, share your TTC efforts, pregnancy,etc. with those who are adopting or experiencing IF issues. Sure, we are struggling to build our family, but we love being involved, hearing good news about yours. We feel sad when we don't know, or don't find out about something that's been going on in your life. We appreciate everyone who treats our relationship normally, sharing their excitement in their pregnancies, births, etc. It actually means more to us than you can possible believe. It even in some ways makes us feel normal.

Now, I know that we don't necessarily represent all those who are struggling with IF or those who are building their family through adoption, but that's how we feel. And I bet there are others out there too who feel the way we do....

So neat to hear

It's truly wonderful to hear people's stories about how adoption has touched their lives. When people find out you are adopting, those that can relate hapily tell you about their experiences. Most of us, if not touched by adoption directly do know someone, a friend or family member, who has an adoption story to share.

Recently I went out of state for a meeting, and met a wonderful lady who shared her story. They did fostering for a while (I truly admire the folks who do that), and keep in touch with some of the children they fostered. After one left their house (he'd been with them for a couple years I believe) their daughter entered their lives. I saw a picture of both the boy and the girl, and they are absolutely precious.

A friend and I were in a craft store, shopping for scrapbook paper and for baby shower invitations for a friend of ours. As we were checking out, making small talk, somehow we must have said something about adoption. Our cashier told us that she'd been adopted from Korea when she was a little girl. It was very interesting talking with her.

And often I hear birthmother stories as well. As we started this journey, several folks who had been touched by adoption from the birthparent side (either themselves or relatives of theirs) approached us. It's been wonderful chatting with them, and in fact we've sometimes shared our profile, website, etc for feedback from them.

The stories go on and on. It's wonderful to hear people's experiences, and to realize that quite a few people have been touched by the joys of adoption.

Adoption Songs

My newest project, to find adoption songs. This is actually going to be part one in a series of posts, as I find some more songs :)

I'll start with a mix I found on the Adoptive Families magazine website. It is a mix that the magazine put together, and has songs written by folks who have been touched by adoption, and is available on iTunes (It's called, "The Beat of Love, from Adoptive Families"). Many of these particular tunes are folk music type (with a few surprises) but there are several different kinds of songs out there. I need to look into purchasing some of them...

A few notes on songs from the mix:

When Love Takes You In, written by Steven Curtis Chapman, who has a daughter adopted from China: 1 Jn 3: 1; Jn 14: 18; Psalm 68: 5-6. "...And somewhere while you're sleeping, Someone else is dreaming too, Counting down the days until, They hold you close and say I love you..."


This is Home, co written and sung by Lucy Kaplansky, is an intimate reflection on welcoming their daughter into their family.


Happy Adoption Day by John McCutcheon. "...There are those who think families happen by chance, A mystery their whole life through, But we had a voice and we had a choice, We were working and waiting for you..."


Just Like Me by Darryl McDaniels (who didn't learn he was adopted until he was 35) and Sarah McLachlan (who is also adopted) samples "The Cats in the Cradle" and turns it into a message of hope.

Ask Me Anything, is written and performed by Chuck Kent, father of two children adopted from China. It's from his album "Same/Same" which contains 11 original songs about adoption.

Love Takes the Best of You and Long Night Moon by Catie Curtis are both written during her experiences with adoption. She wrote Love Takes the Best of You while awaiting the adoption of her sister from Cambodia. Long Night Moon was written as she waited to bring her own daughter home from China.

Volunteering

One thing that was suggested to us, as we wait, is to volunteer. It's a little difficult to volunteer at the adoption center, but there are other ways that we can do it. So, we are looking into it, seeing what we can do.

Our facilitation center works with families and birthmothers across the US. One thing they have suggested is for us to locate contact information for individual organizations, such as health & abortion clinics, physicians offices, hospitals, college health clinics, shelters, continuation schools, and other potential locations in which birthmothers might seek services.

Then, they will send out information about adoption, Lifetime's services, etc. Including brochures and the magazine, and other tools to help educate professionals about Lifetime and it's support for birthparents.

One thing I do know is how to research like that. I did it with my former job, and am kind of doing that with my direct sales business. I figure it can't hurt to help out.... and who knows, we might find a birthparent in the process....

Revised our website

To be proactive, we revised our website a bit. We went ahead and paid for hosting, so there are no more ads on there. We also added more pictures, and changed up the wording about us. It can be found at www.MikeAndLizAdopt.com . As always, it's a work in progress, but it gives a lot of information about us.

Networking

One of the important things to do is network. Get the word out that we are adopting. Make business cards, spread the word. I am in a yahoo group with others who are also working with the same facilitator as us. One girl is very active in networking, and has given us some info about some yahoo groups to join. I think we are going to look into it and see what we can find. You have to be careful though, as sometimes there are scam artists out there. That's why it's good to have an adoption lawyer (which we have) to help ensure that all will go ok.

We found out about one situation, it sounded very interesting for us. We'd be perfect for them, and the situation was perfect for us. So, I sent an email to the birthmother. Unfortunately, she probably got at least 200o emails in a very short time period, so she probably didn't see our email. Hopefully she will see it though, and consider us to parent her child.

We've heard of a few other situations before, but nothing has worked out yet. We do have extra profiles, so if anyone ever hears of a situation, let us know and we can pass on a profile to you.

You never know what will happen. We really appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers, and for thinking of us when you hear of a situation.

Happy Birthday Mike

Today is Mike's birthday :)

Pray, hope and don't worry

Pray, hope and don't worry. Anxiety doesn't help at all. Our Merciful Lord will listen to your prayer.--- Saint Padre Pio

So important, for many different circumstances. We can apply this to a waiting family as well. Sometimes we get so anxious, wondering when it's going to happen. Then we stress about it, worry about it. And then feel bad because nothing has happened yet.

The best thing to do is to relax, though it's not always easy to do. Pray about it, and hope that something is going to happen soon. But don't stress or worry. Eventually something is going to happen, and our family will grow.

But for now, it's time to relax, enjoy. Relish the quiet time spent together. Sleep in. Work on scrapbooks and read books and magazines. Clean and organize the house. And take time to hope and pray a little bit each day. Eventually, when the timing is right, our prayers will be answered.

Though this is much easier said than done. Some days are better than others. Sometimes tears flow due to stress, worry, wondering. Knots in the stomach, feeling phyiscally ill. It feels like things are not happening as they should, why haven't they happened yet? Why is it taking so long, why isn't anyone looking at us? All those questions and anxieties...

In the end, it's hard to give up the control. We can't determine when a birthparent will look at us. Will deem us fit to parent a child or two. It's hard knowing that building your family is beyond your control. All you can do is hope and pray that the right birthparent will see our profile, or learn of us, and decide we are what they are looking for.

The best we can do is to relax, realize it is out of our control. And know that someday our hopes and prayers will be answered.

8 months

Well, we are at 8 months now. If we were pregnant, we'd most likely know if we were having a boy or a girl. We'd have the nursery all done. Bottles, diapers, clothes, all ready to be used. We'd be getting bags ready for "when it's time" to head to the hospital. We'd know that shortly we'd be bringing a baby home and into our lives. We'd be ready, prepared, and know what we were getting into, when it would happen (or at least a pretty good idea). But no. We don't know, know just as little now as we did when we started. Who knows when it's going to happen for us? It could be any time. Then, we'll scramble to get the bags together, the last minute things we need. Bottles, formula, diapers, etc.

We had our check in this week. Nothing new to report. They don't need any more profiles. So we leave it at that, and check in next month.