Saturday, September 30, 2006

Three Months

Well, it's been three months since we became waiting parents. Three months since we were contracted out with our facilitator. Wow, these three months have flown by....

We have accomplished quite a few things during that time. It's also been a time of happiness, tears, frustration, and even exhaustion.. But everything is in, we are set, our paperwork is complete.

Hopefully we are well over half way through our wait, but there is not telling. All we do now is see what happens....

Friday, September 29, 2006

phone calls

Every time the phone rings, we wonder, "Could this be the call?"

Especially when the phone rings during non-traditional business hours. See, we are basically on call 24/7 and never know when the phone will ring to say "A birth mother chose you -oh, she's in labor, you will be parents really soon". Or, "A birth mother (due in x months) chose you". The latter is more likely to come during business hours, but the former could come at any time. They typically like the adoptive parents to be there (or as soon as they can- if last minute) when the baby is born. And of course, you never know when a baby might decide to make it's appearance.

So, every single time the phone rings, we wonder "could this be the call?" then chek caller ID....

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Just recieved the best picture in an email

It's my friend Karen, her husband, her mother, a boy, a girl and a judge.

It's their first official picture taken as a family, their adoption of the kids was finalized today.

I am so excited for them!

Congrats to the Reed family!

Monday, September 25, 2006

monthly check in

We emailed our coordinator last week to make sure all paperwork is in, and they have everything they need. Here is her reply:

It looks like we have all items needed; we will continue to present you to birth mothers matching your preferences, and visa versa. Let’s check in with each other during the last week of October!

So, we are now in the monthly check in phase. That just means we email or call her once a month to check in. She asks if anything has changed, and tells us if she needs us to put together and send in more profiles. Lots of waiting, waiting, waiting.....

Sunday, September 24, 2006

A Few Adoption Thoughts

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time & miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands.
--- Kristi Larson

And a friend sent me this quote today:

However motherhood comes to you, it's a miracle.

Valerie Harper
Adoptive parent

We can't wait until we get the call, and our lives change forever....

Friday, September 22, 2006


So, I'm going to be a first time Mom at 36 (most likely). When I was growing up, that was not what I expected, but now, I eagerly anticipate it. When Mike and I got married, we purposely planned our wedding for 2004 so that we could have our first child in 2005. Well, obviously those plans were not meant to be. The best laid plans don't always work out, but you know, that's what makes life so interesting. We are fortunate enough to be healthy, happy and secure, and will be able to enjoy our children, keep up with them, and watch them flourish. I don't feel 36, I feel like I am younger. And that's what keeps us going, looking forward to the future.

36 is not too old to become a first time parent, and is not totally unusual anymore. Though it's hard not to think about it when a 35 year old friend of mine became a grandmother yesterday. Or the fact that when my mom was 36 she had a 16 year old (me!). But in today's society, it's ok to be a bit older, and still have kids. Thank goodness we are where we are today, as Mike and I were meant to be parents.

We look forward to it this year and welcome the challenge.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Convertible Car Seats

Convertible car seats are wonderful. We've been testing ours out with the little ones in our lives. Once a week, we have niece(or nephew)/aunt and uncle day. It's been a lot of fun so far! The nice thing is, the car seat we have can be used by all but the oldest nephew (he's in a booster now), even though our niece needs hers backwards and one nephew needs his facing forward. They are easy to put in (LATCH system is great!) and wonderful to use. The kids love being in the carseats.

My parents have the same car seat we do, and I showed my Dad how easy it is to reverse it depending on which child he (or my mom) have in the car.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Interesting reading

So, this weekend was a nice and slow one. We had plenty of time to relax, do a few things around the house, and otherwise just enjoy ourselves.

We also got to get caught up on some reading. We have found some very interesting and very helpful books throughout the adoption process.

One book is The Complete Adoption Book by Beauvais-Godwin and Godwin, Esq. We have found it to be extremely helpful both in the very beginning and as we proceed further. It's got state by state listings of helpful agencies and such. That was a big help when we were first starting out. Now, we turn to it to check out the state by state laws. Each state requires a little bit different things in regards to adoption, so it's very helpful to read.

The second book that I re-read some sections on was It's by Mardie Caldwell, and is informative and a quick read. It also gives life experiences and testimonials. Mardie Caldwell is actually the founder of Lifetime, which is a nice surprise. We didn't realize that at first.

The last book is Adoption For Dummies. Like all the Dummies books, it's got its good points, and has been useful as well.

So anyway, that's all to report today :)

Saturday, September 16, 2006


I am a frequent poster on a tight knit community of newly (and not so newly) weds. One section is devoted to babies. Recently, someone posted this quote: "Adoption is not without its risks because you don't know the pedigree of that child."

While I know her intentions were well meaning, her delivery really upset a lot of people. She is a medical field, and apparently uses words like "pedigree" quite often in relations to humans. However, most people, when they think of "pedigree" think of a dog or animal. Not a baby. The medical history (much preferred over the term 'pedigree') needs to be disclosed, that is important. And most agencies, facilitators, and lawyers make sure that adoptive parents are able to receive that information from the birthparents.

It's important to think about how we speak about adoption, and use postive adoption language. Adoption is a way to build a family, just as birth is. Both are important, but one is not more important than the other.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Everytime the phone rings

Everytime the phone rings, we look at caller ID to see who it is. We hope that caller id says "call intercept". When Lifetime calls, it goes through call intercept. We rush to answer, and hope we hear that it's Veronica calling. It's so frustrating when it's just an ad or solicitor (gotta love the do not call list- they call anyway!) or a wrong number. We carry our cell phones with us- if they can't reach us on our home phone they call our cell next. Hoping, waiting, and knowing someday the call will come....

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The homestudy is IN!

What a relief. A huge stress has been lifted for us. We knew everything was ok with the home study, it just needed to be done and turned in. It was out of our hands, nothing we could control, yet a major stressor in our lives. Well, we got the confirmation email:


I just received the Fed Ex envelope that had your home study in it! Hope to call you soon with good news.


Yay! So, folks are asking the next step. Well, just wait to be matched :) Hopefully it will come soon! A "cyber" friend of mine in our Lifetime Yahoo group got the call earlier this week. I am so excited for them! Their little one is to be born in November.

Monday, September 11, 2006

it's in the mail

Well, our home study lady says that the home study is on the way to our facilitator. They should hopefully have it soon. We also asked for a copy to be sent to us. I'm glad that part is over- it's a major step.... and has been a major source of stress lately...

Sunday, September 10, 2006

ah, a weekend away... and a steal of a deal

We had a great time on our weekend away. We needed to get away from all things adoption related, and everything that has been stressing this past week. We did a little shopping at the San Marcos outlet mall though, we couldn't resist.

These diaper bags were a fantastic deal. One was 70% off, the other 50% off. So, now our diaper bag collection is complete, and Elizabeth doesn't have to "borrow" Mike's black one when she wants a nice small bag or a black one to use. Mike can keep his in the back of his car, and Elizabeth can choose which she wants to use from her collection of three :)

The diaper bags are an early 2nd anniversary present from Mike to Elizabeth :)

Friday, September 08, 2006

cute sailboats for the wall and an escape...

Elizabeth's mom painted these cute pictures. They match the baby bedding perfectly, and will hang over the crib. We are going to hang them up early next week, we want to make sure they are in the perfect spot!

We are headed to Windy Hill (the family house on the Guadalupe) for a little weekend escape. It's been a very stressful and emotional adoption related week, so a little escape will do us well....

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The outlet store find

Well, this past weekend I was up at the family river house on the Guadalupe River. My sisters, the kids and I went to the outlet mall in San Marcos. I knew we needed a piece of furniture to hold diapers/wipes and a lamp, so I figured I'd stop in the Pottery Barn Outlet. And, I found the perfect thing- plus, it's the exact matching color of our other furniture in the nursery. Things are coming together nicely.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

A good reminder as to why to keep copies of everything....

Well, as we said from the get-go, adopting is full of ups and downs....

We had our home study on June 29th, and had not heard back yet from the social worker. She had said it would probably be a month. Well, a month and a week or two went by, never heard anything. A couple promises of "it'll be done soon, wrapping up a few loose ends". A few returned emails and phone calls. Then, no replies at all.

Come to find out, our paperwork has been lost. Packed in a suitcase on a plane. The luggage was lost. All our paperwork, our homestudy, all copies of our personal info, out in limbo somewhere.

And when do we find this out? When Elizabeth is in the Hill Country and Mike is on call on a holiday weekend.

We have to resubmit EVERYTHING so the whole process can be started again. Meanwhile, there is a good chance we are being passed over for a few insta-family matches since this home study is not turned in. Something we can't control, it's entirely out of our hands. Our profile is still being passed out, but sometimes a few instances come up for an immediate match. They prefer to select folks whose homestudies are complete and turned in.

Luckily, everything was scanned and saved on the computer. So, everything was able to be emailed in, and the process begins again. Hopefully it will be completed in a timely manner.