Thursday, August 31, 2006

it's amazing...

I am learning how much folks really don't know about adoption. Yet people love to give their opinions.

I am on a message board (non adoption related), and one section tends to be a bit baby related. A friend of mine had just discovered that she was not pregnant, and had made "post from a non-pregnant lady who wants to be". It was a great post, very heartfelt. Well, one girl posted this to her: "Seriously adopting is always a good miss out on the crap and you still get a cute child to raise. "

Wow, there is so much wrong with that statement. Obviously that person has no clue what it is like to go through the adoption process, or even what it is like to consider adoption. It's not "oh, I want to adopt. Ok, here is a baby to raise". Adoption in itself is a roller coaster ride of emotions. A lot of hurry up and wait. Get the nursery ready - you might get a baby tonight- or in two years.

And, all of this is typically after going through infertility treatments and determining that conceiving is not an option.

Now, not all folks who adopt were trying to conceive, there are various reasons for why folks choose to adopt. But let me tell you, it certainly is not all fun and games...

Plus, you have to do stuff backwards or slightly different too. Yes, our nursery is in place, we have bought several of the major purchases. But that is because we HAVE to. We could get a call tonight that a child is coming, we need to be prepared.

People give you a hard time sometimes for preparing the nursery, or buying clothes, or basically preparing yourself for your child. But you know what, you have to. We may be "paper pregnant" and not know when we are "due", but I promise, we will be ready when our little one comes.

And, we are not the only ones doing this. We are on a message board with other waiting families, and they are all going through the same thing.

It's not easy, it can be depressing sometimes, with lots of questions such as "why have they not picked us yet".

Heck, putting together a six page profile to explain your life to a potential birthmother, to encourage them to pick you to raise their child. Tell me THAT's not stressful....

Or having to go through a home study (where they come in, have a fifty page list of questions to ask you about your life, your relationship, your house, your finances, family, etc), and find a lawyer to represent us when the adoption is taking place. Oh, and don't forget the criminal and other back ground checks!

But it also has many highs. Getting the room together, being prepared for when your child comes. And knowing that when we get our kids, they will have more than been worth the wait.

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