Monday, April 09, 2007

Interesting decision and hospitals

My friend R's birthmother is due to give birth this week. R has a very interesting decision to make. The birthmother is assuming that R is going to be in the room when the birthmother gives birth. R hadn't really thought about it. She's not really sure what to think or to do, or if she will be comfortable with it. It's a very personal and private decision that needs to be made.

The birthmother has told everyone in the hospital that R and her husband are the parents, to make sure that the hospital is very good with them, and treats them well. The birthmother is very sweet, and wants to have a good experience for all of them.

From my friends who have adopted, various people's experiences with hospitals were quite different. One family, when their baby was born, the hospital staff didnt want them there, tried to kick them out of the delivery room, and just generally didn't make things comfortable for them at all. The hospital said they "don't do adoptions". In fact, when the baby left, the hospital wouldn't let the adoptive parents take the baby out of the hospital, a caseworker had to do it, then give the baby to the adoptive parents.

Another friend's experience was quite different. The hospital let them be in the delivery room, made them comfortable, and even gave them a room to stay in after the birth of the baby. It allowed the adoptive parents to bond with the baby during those precious few beginning hours.

In general, about half the families I have known have been in the delivery room, the others just waited in the waiting room. But most of them went to the hotel at night, very few stayed in the hospital with baby.

As for what to do when it's our turn? Who knows. We figure we will cross that situation when we come to it. It may or may not apply to us.

1 comment:

Lawfrog said...

The hospital doesn't "do adoptions?" WOW, that is outrageous and awful. So sorry the parents had to experience that:(