What we've been up to this week...

I know we didn't post a lot last week. We were (and still are) working on our profile in order to get it done and turned in.

But, we also did TONS of work to the nursery. Here are pictures to enjoy!























We still have quite a bit to do, but for now we are more than prepared to bring our little one home. We want to get a chambry laundry basket, similar to this one from Toys R Us, and have a sailboat painted on it, similar to the one over the crib. And we need a diaper pail too. Right now, we are using ziplock bags and putting diapers in them, then in the trash can. We want to get the Graco Touch Free Diaper Pail. But for now, we are off to a good start!

monthly check in

We had our monthly check in today. Not much going on, nothing new to report. They know we need more profiles (and we are working on them), and asked about our home study, which is going to expire in a bit. We've had the home study update, so we're just waiting for it to be completed and sent in.

That is about it. we went out tonight to celebrate the fact that Mike's last scheduled on-call shift was yesterday. He'll be regular 8-5 days now for the most part. It's going to take a bit for him to get used to a regular sleep schedule- and hopefully by the time he does, we'll have a little one with a new sleep schedule to adjust to ;)

Lucky # 13?

Well, we're at the 13 month mark. Will 13 be our lucky number? We shall see....

Our plans this weekend

Well, this weekend will be an interesting and busy one for us. Mike is on call all weekend, but it's his last weekend to be on call (most likely). Starting Aug 1 he is scheduled to do an 8-5 M-F work week. It will be nice to have him not on call so much.

I'll be working on profiles. We got an email last night that they went to get some of our profiles to take on the US tour (where they give them to doctors and social workers, etc), and they only had our old ones left. So, they need about 30 new ones. My job this weekend is to update it a bit (some new pictures) and get it printed off.

So we'll be busy!

Mike came home earlier this week

Mike came home earlier this week from work at his usual time. When he came into the office to kiss me, as he does every day, he had a list. Apparently, he'd had some time to think during the day, and work on a list of things we would need should we get the call soon.

He had it divided up into three columns. One was work. The other was house. The third was baby. And boy, did he put some thought into it.

The work one was mostly for him, and things that he might need to bring should we be delayed enough away from home and he'd need to log in some work hours. He also took into account my work, and had notes for things I would need to bring as well. It was a pretty extensive list.

The second was home. It included both things we would need to take (camera, clothes, nice outfits to wear before the judge, books, computer, paperwork, etc) as well as notes to call the lawyer, our home study coordinator, Lifetime, etc. He also included making sure Precious had enough food and water, and that we had someone reliable lined up to come stop in and visit with her while we were gone.

The last was baby. And with this he included things we would need, including diapers, clothing, age related toys, car seat, formula, etc. Everything we'd need to keep baby entertained while stuck in a hotel room for a few days or more.

It was so neat to see him do that, and put such thought into it. With his list, we'll have a fantastic start when we finally do get that call. He is such a sweetie, and will make a wonderful father.

Primetime: Beyond Love- the Road to Adoption

ABC Primetime is running a series on Family Secrets. Tonight's show is 'Beyond Love': The Road to Adoption. It should be interesting, as it is telling about the birth mother's perspective. It's following two teenage girls through their pregnancies and as they set up an adoption plan. These two happen to take place at The Gladney Center for Adoption, which has free dormitory style housing, counseling, medical care and more for birth mothers.

We looked in to Gladney, into their domestic program. It's actually the first one we applied to. After submitting the application, a few weeks later we received a letter from them. They told us that we were not selected for the domestic program (I guess their 'quota' of people like us was full), but that we were accepted into the international program. We talked about it, and decided that was not the route we wanted to go. When we asked about what it would take to get into the domestic program, they never really gave us a solid answer. And then, they were surprised that we did not want to go the international route. So, we parted ways.

We plan on watching the show, it should be interesting.

Life is good

No, we still don't have "the call" yet, but life in general is very good.

We've rid ourselves of some negative influences in our lives. We're both working out on the treadmill and losing weight. We're eating healthier, and are overall feeling better about ourselves. Both of us have wonderful things going on in our jobs. Elizabeth's Noah's Ark business is picking up, and Mike is about to go on an 8-5 regular schedule, with little OT and no weekends. The house is organized. The nursery is set up, and slowly being decorated. Our 14 year old cat, Precious, is doing well. And we have great friends and family. Things are really starting to fall into place.

So now, we're ready. Hopefully something will happen soon. That's all we are missing, and, as Mike says "bring it on". It's in our hearts, our minds, and our prayers every day, and hopefully soon, we'll be sharing good news.

Baby Fever

Baby fever has struck our household. Both Mike and I can't wait to be parents. We both long for that feeling of a child in our lives. Mike is so cute, and you can tell he wants to be a dad so bad. He is more than ready, and often says "bring it on". He asks if my friends will bring their little ones over, so he can see them. And everytime one of his coworkers' little ones stop by- Mike is one of the first ones to be there and play with the little one.

It's hard to be patient and wait, and hard to plan for the future. We talk about trips, upcoming plans. We need to figure out, should we plan on using some of his vacation now? Will we need to make arrangements when Mike has to work, and I am on my cruise with the girls? Can we both take the cruise that I (hopefully) will win through Noah's Ark? Should we plan on a babysitter? We've done everything right. There is nothing left to do but wait. But waiting leads to restlessness and wanting.

We are fortunate in that we have many children in our lives. And so when we do need our "baby fix" we can spend time with our nieces, nephews, and friend's children. It means the world to us when whe are able to spend time with these precious little ones, probably more than their parents realize. For now, it'll hold us, and help with our baby fever, until we are able to bring our own little one home.

Things you learn at baby showers

I was fortunate enough to cohost a baby shower for a good friend of mine yesterday. After a little scare (she went into preterm labor- but it was stopped) on Friday, she was more than ready to party on Sat. and celebrate her little one's upcoming arrival.

It was a lot of fun. There was a great mix of women there, and it was neat to see everyone, and how they reacted to different things. There was a good mix of non-moms (those not interested in being moms, or waiting to start trying), moms-in-waiting (those who are trying, pregnant, or waiting for the call), and moms (self explanatory). Plus 3 cute little ones ranging from less than 2 months to a toddler.

We played the game BabySmarts, and it was really interesting. It led to discussions on the various topics, and we all learned a little from it. Even if you just get the cards to read, it's worth it. There are four categories, Baby, Culture, Mom and Wild Card. And not only do they ask a question (typically true/false or multiple choice) and give the answer, but it also explains, going into further detail. Obviously some of the already moms were a bit more knoweldgeable in the subjects, but honestly, everyone learned something from it. It was fun to play.

The mom of the one month old pulled out a moby wrap when her little one was fussy, and just wanted to snuggle next to mom. At $39.95 and with protection from UV rays with the Rayoscan Process, it's a pretty neat thing. It's basically a long piece of cloth, and there are many different ways that you can wrap it around you, to snuggle baby in. It's a matter of finding the most comfortable fit for you and baby. You can even us it to carry baby on your back. It's very soft too. I am thinking of ordering one - It looks like it will come in handy.

One thing that the mom to be received was a changing pad, along with several changing pad covers. This led to a discussion as to how wonderful it is to have more than one cover - two at a minimum. And we totally agree- it makes a lot of sense, and it's necessary.

One of the things I gave the mom to be was a kozy pal cart cover. She is going to pick out the pattern she wants, and then I'll order it for her. I learned about this product several years ago, and have been giving it to friends and family since then. It's great! The covers not only fit in the carts, but also in most restuarnt high chairs. It does take a few weeks for them to come in (she goes by an order list). So I am probably going to go ahead and buy ours now. I love the turquoise chic stripe that I have pictured here.


Mom to be received a Diaper Champ. It's a diaper pail. Those really do come in handy. Mom to be mentioned that at another shower, someone said they didnt understand why she would regeister for a diaper pail, when a simple trash can with a foot pedal would work just as fine. That led to another fun discussion. Diaper pails are so handy now, and have so many features. They help eliminate smells, and overall make the room more pleasant. We are looking at the Graco Touch Free Pail ourselves. We actually could use one already- as right now, when we have a little one over and we change a diaper we just stick it in a gallon size zip lock bag and stick it in the trashcan. If the little one had a major diaper issue, this can sometimes stink up the pantry. I know many people who have used the Diaper Genie. Though I will say the new models out now are much easier to use than the older models from when my nephews were born.

Boudreaux's Butt Paste was also a popular, and very much discussed item. This product is awesome, and through the years I have found out through discussions with friends and family that it actually has many different uses for various rashes and ailments. It's also one of the best for baby's diaper rash.

One of the moms suggested to the mom to be that she invest in a few preemie outfits. Even if they are born on time, sometimes the newborn clothes swim on them. So it doesn't hurt to have a few preemie outfits just in case. Keep the tags on and you can always return them or give them to someone else.

A discussion on newborn diapers also took place, as the mom to be received Huggies Supreme Newborn Diapers and Pampers Swaddlers in size newborn. From the moms with experience, they all agreed that the Huggies newborn diapers were a bit smaller than the pampers newborn diapers. But that both were good. One of the moms insists though, that the Target brand of diapers is the absoulte best.

There were more things discussed, it was a lot of fun. It's neat to get together with women who are in various stages and interests in becoming (or not becoming) parents, and share thoughts and experiences.

I know that as our adoption progresses, I'm taking notes. And looking for things that will come in handy with out little one(s).

Friends

It's times like this, and weeks like this that you realize who your true friends are. It's been a rough week, full of ups and downs. I want to thank my true friends who were there for me, helped me, and supported me. I am very lucky to have the friends that I do, both new and old. I don't think I thank them enough for being the great people that they are.

A note, a call, a post, a shout out, even an instant message can make all the difference in the world when you are feeling down or upset about something. And when being a bit unrealistic, or idealistic about something, a friend is there to tell you (kindly) that you are being stubborn or might have a bit of a skewed view on things. A true friend supports you, but also accepts you for who you are. True, good friends are really hard to find, and when we are lucky enough to have them, they should be cherished.

I was fortunate enough to gather friends along the way as I grew up, went to college, worked, planned a wedding.... and now I am gaining more friends as we go through the adoption process. I really do appreciate all those friends, and their support. I don't think I thank them enough for being who they are, but they really do all, in their own way, have a special place in my heart.

Our children are going to have lots of "aunts" and "uncles" in their lives. And for this we are very lucky and blessed....

I know we don't say it enough, but thank you for your friendship, it means the world to us.

We tell ourselves

I am on several message boards, and changed my signature recently. It's a way to remind me to stay positive, and know that something is going to happen soon.



We tell ourselves "our baby is being born today" because one day it WILL be true.





And you know what, one day it will be true. We can't wait, and we hope it's soon.

Homestudy day

Well, we had our homestudy update today. It went well, we really enjoyed chatting with her. We showed her all the things we had done (including the nursery and the guest room) since she was last here.

We also talked about changes, Mike's job change (almost no on call hours starting in Aug!), my change from SAF being bought out to Noah's Ark, and the flexibility that I have with my business. We also talked about family changes (since we have a new niece since the last time we saw her), and other changes in the family.

We changed some of our preferences too, to make us more open to more situations. Hopefully something good will come out of it :)

Homestudies are now good for every 6 months now, so we'll have to do another update in another six months. Hopefully something happens so we don't have to!

Spring Cleaning

This weekend we are doing a quick spring cleaning.

Why you ask? Well, we needed some motivation to do it, and now we have it. We are having our updated home study tomorrow.

So, it's forcing us to do a few things we've been thinking of doing, but haven't actually done. We don't have a lot to do, and actually this homestudy update should go pretty quickly and easily. But we're getting around to organizing the office, and putting up a screen between the guest half of the guest room and the Noah's Ark half of the guest room.

As I write this, Mike is out picking out two screens for the room. He's also picking up some cabinet locks. We know it's probably a good thing to go ahead and start babyproofing our home a bit more. We do it a little at a time (the outlet plugs have been up for about a year), and this seemed like the right time to do it. Plus, we plan on having nieces and nephews over this summer, and one in particular likes to explore cabinets.

We'll do a little more work in the nursery too- straightening it up a bit, maybe put a few more pictures on the wall.

Basic stuff, but it makes all the difference in the world, and makes us feel better too.

A shirt, and a quick note

I ordered a shirt from www.AdoptionMama.com and recieved it on Tuesday. The company was founded by a mom who adopted from China. And as her site says, it has "unique adoption themed designs". What I love is that they are both cute and hip, and made for women. And the shirts themselves are very well made (I like the one I got!). I love that it's not the standard plain unisex t-shirt that tends to be too boxy and long.

When I received my package in the mail on Tuesday, I was pleasantly surprised to find an encouraging note from Jennifer, the owner of the company. It was so nice of her to take the time to write a personalized note to me. It really meant a lot to me.

Especially since she is about to embark on a two week volunteering expedition to China. She's got a blog, and I'll be following along.

I think that's really neat. I'm on the lookout for products like this - it's nice to know they are out there. And even nicer to know that the people who design and make the products may take the time to write you an encouraging note or email. I'm impressed.

Lazy Weekends

So, I told Mike, we ought to enjoy them while we have them. And take advantage of them while they are here. Because eventually we won't be able to stay up until 2 am or sleep in until midnight. Eat dinner at 830 PM. Hang out on the couch, be lazy.

We know it's going to happen sometime in the future, so we take advantage, enjoy it while we can. Everyone always says the grass is always greener on the other side, and in a few weeks, months, or years we are probably going to be wishing we could have a weekend like that... but it's all good- that's what vacations are for!

Friends and Family

Friends and family are so wonderful, and what really helps as you are going through the adoption period. Waiting can seem like it takes forever, and some days you just don't know what to do. Most times, it's easy to relax, and know that it's going to happen when it's going to happen. Having faith that everything happens for a reason, and w hen the timing is right really helps to keep us positive.

Things that friends and family do, to let them know they are thinking of you, mean more than they possibly can even know. A blog comment, a message board post, an email, lunch with friends (and their little ones - even when they are fussy!), a beautiful flower arrangement, getting to hold and play with little ones- y'all are so sweet to do this for us, and it means SO much to us to have your support. It's hard to even bring to words how much it means to us, and how y'all were so wonderful yesterday in particular, and our other days of waiting...

Our little ones are going to be well loved, not just by Mike and I as parents, but also by our wonderful network of support. They will have many aunts and uncles, be them traditional or honorary. And we can't wait to have y'all over to meet them.

Mike and I are already planning a big BBQ when our little one(s) arrive(s), we want to introduce him/her to all those who have touched our lives so much, and we want to thank those who have been so helpful, loving, and supportive to us as we've gone through this.

So stay tuned... someday the invite will be announced!

12 months, 1 year - it's all the same

Wow, this year has (kind of) flown by!

We're confident it's going to happen soon. When, we don't know. But it's going to happen for us when the timing is right.

Hapy thoughts today!

And we want to thank EVERYONE who has been thinking of us as we are going through this.

Teleconference

We had a teleconference earlier this week. It was interesting. It was a "pajama" conference, and the call was at 10PM our time for about 2 hours. Two families that had adopted through Lifetime were there to share their experiences. It was great to hear about how they adopted, and what they experienced, how much contact they have with birthparents, etc.

They also had suggestions as to what to do during the wait, books to read etc. Funny thing, they mentioned Mike and I on the call- when they were talking about keeping in contact with the office, listening to teleconferences, etc. It was nice to be acknowledged.

one year ago

This week has several anniversaries for us.

One year ago today we were accepted and found out we were on the wait list for Lifetime.

One year ago on the 29th (Friday) we were contracted out with Lifetime.

Also, four years ago on the 29th, Mike "winked" at me at Match.com, and our lives as we knew it then changed forever...


So today, I am going to focus on today's anniversary. We found out that we were accepted into the program, but that we'd be on a short "waitlist" because the program was full. Typically they don't do waitlists very long, but they really felt they could work with us, and wanted to work with us. So, on the waitlist we went. There were 4 families in front of us (that seems like a lot, but because of all the applications they receive daily- it's really only a very small percentage. At the time, they were receiving applications from some families they really wanted to work with, so they started the waitlist.)

They suggested that we go ahead and arrange for a home study, and start the things to get the process going, even start working on our profile if we wanted. See, they didn't know how long we'd be on the waitlist. It was typically a month, sometimes a bit shorter, sometimes a bit longer. There was just no way to know. Little did we know that we were on the waitlist the shortest amount of time they'd every had...

catching up

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days... I was in Chicago for a convention for Noah's Ark Animal Workshop. It was wonderful, a fantastic experience. I was really glad to go attend it, and learn about all the new products and developments going on. I have been working hard to help the Stuff A Friend Reps ease into their positions with Noah's Ark.

SO, back to reality and catching up. We heard back from our home study lady. To update our homestudy it's going to be $300. Well, I guess that is better than what we paid in the first place. It's hard to believe a year is coming up since we contracted out, did our home study, etc. Precious is due for her exam and shots next week!

practice

We were fortunate enough to have our 18 month old niece visit us for a few days. We had a wonderful time with her, did the typical toddler things with her, and really enjoyed her. She is a sweetheart. Seeing Mike with her and how he handled her- it made my heart melt. He's going to be an excellent Daddy. I just can't wait for that day....

Father's Day

We were really hoping that Mike would be celebrating his first Father's Day this year as a new dad. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like that is going to happen. But he is going to celebrate as a father-in-waiting. Because that is what he is- a father-in-waiting (and a very good one at that!)

My sister and nephew made cookies Saturday night. Sunday at the church bookstore, they are passing the cookies out to all the men and boys. See, the philosophy is, even if they aren't a dad yet, they will be some day. So, celebrate them, and give them a special treat as well.

It makes sense. They are fathers-in-waiting too. Even if it'll be a while before my 4 year old nephew is a father ;)

Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers, Fathers-to-be, Fathers-in-waiting, and future Fathers!

Frosty Weekend

Celebrate Father's Day with Rockin' Frosty!
June 16 - 17, 2007

We invite you to celebrate Father's Day at Wendy's restaurants, where 50 cents from every Frosty purchased during Father's Day Frosty Weekend will be donated to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, in support of its signature program, Wendy's Wonderful Kids. The Wendy's Wonderful Kids program awards grants to adoption agencies across the nation to move children from foster care into permanent, loving adoptive homes. When you celebrate Father's Day, you celebrate family!

Teddy Monster & Village of Hope Orphanage in Haiti

Noah's Ark Animal Workshop (the company I am an Independent Crew member for) just introduced this new product, for a good cause.

Teddy Monster

This loveable green monster was designed by the 2006 "Design-Your-Own" Teddy Bear Contest Winner, Alison Price of MI in age category 6-8.

*A portion of the proceeds will go towards the Village of Hope Orphanage in Haiti to help aid orphans.

Random Acts of Kindness

A little over two years ago, when it first was started, I joined a board called Babytalkbio. I have found the message boards to be wonderful, full of supportive, friendly, and knowledgeable women (and now a few men). It was very helpful as we were trying to conceive, and as we were having infertility problems. The folks there have so much to share, and it's a great environment. There are so many different folks there, different ages, some who are not at the point of thinking about babies yet, some who are trying to conceive, some who are pregnant, some who have little ones, and everyone is all over the US, and now the world. I really enjoy the folks I have gotten to know there. I even moderate one of the boards (business and finance).

Recently several different levels of membership were set up, including a free version, a $2/mo version and a $5/mo version.

One "perk" of participating in the $5 level is Random Acts Of Kindness. With this, each participant sends out a RAOK at least once a month or so to someone else participating in RAOK (there is a list). There are no major requirements, basically, just send at least one package once a month. There is no dollar amount, no criteria, you just send something to someone to let them know you are thinking of them. You play "Fairy Godmother" to them.

Mike and I appreciate what we've been sent from our Fairy Godmothers. Today, we received two very generous ROAK that really meant a lot to us. One was eight coupons for Nestle Good Start formula. This is the formula that we are planning on using with our little one, and we are starting to stock up. We purchase a little bit each month, with grocery shopping, so that we will have a stash when our baby is here.



The other contained six Veggie Tales cds. We got: Have We Got A Show For You, Bob & Larry's Toddler Songs, Junior's Playtime Songs, Bob & Larry Sing the 70s, Boyz in the Sink, and Bob & Larry's Backyard Party. We both really like Veggies Tales, and their messages. And we know from experience with our nieces and nephews that this music is a hit with the little ones. We already had Rock a Bye Veggie (from a fairy godmother last month!) and VeggieTales Worship Songs (from my nephew and Godson, Blake)

It was such a wonderful feeling to receive those gifts today. And to know that someone took the time to think of us, and send them to us was spectacular.

mixed feelings

We don't know what to think, about weekends like this. Nice, relaxing, nothing to do. We should be enjoying them (and we are), but we wish we had a little one or two with us to keep us busy.

It's not to say we aren't enjoying the staying up late, watching tv together, sleeping in, lunch at 3PM. We are enjoying it, relaxing, not doing too much but watch tv, reading magazines, and a little bit of preparing for a workshop tomorrow. But we'd also enjoy getting up early when a little one cries- or watching kid videos, playing outside, keeping busy with our family.

We know we should be enjoying these free moments while we can, and we are. But there is always that little bit of wanting... of wishing... of knowing someday days like this will be few and far between....

to wait

wait
–verb (used without object)
1. to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens (often fol. by for, till, or until) : to wait for the phone to ring
2. (of things) to be available or in readiness: the nursery is waiting for a child
3. to look forward to eagerly: we are just waiting for the day we get the phone call


rest·less
-adjective
1. characterized by or showing inability to remain at rest: sometimes we are in a restless mood.
2. unquiet or uneasy, as a person, the mind, or the heart.
3. without rest; without restful sleep: a sometimes we have a restless night


pa·tient
-adjective
1. bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like.
2. characterized by or expressing such a quality: we always try to have a patient smile.
3. quietly and steadily persevering or diligent, esp. in detail or exactness: patient parents to be


That pretty much sums it up. We are waiting patiently for the day that we get the phone call that we are matched. Somes days we are more restless than patient as we wait. But we know eventually the call is going to come.

celebrate adoption bracelet

So, in the effort to keep faith, I found a bracelet. I need to order it. It's a "celebrate adoption" bracelet and it comes with a card that has bible verses on it.

The card says: God creates families in every way shape and size. He tells us ‘like cold water to a weary soul is good news from distant lands’ (Prov. 25:25). He tells us he ‘sets the lonely in families’ (Psalm 68:6). He tells us that ‘whatever you do for one of the least of these brothers of mine you do for me’ (Matthew 25:40). He tells us that loving a child and making a family is a good and holy thing. Thank God for the gift of adoption.

The back of the heart charm is engraved with "Adoption", and the bracelet is made of sterling silver and glass. I think I am going to buy it, and wear it to remind myself to keep the faith.

check in, keep the faith

We got our check in email back today. Basically, it says - Thanks for checking in, we are good on profiles. We hope to call you soon with a great situation- stay faithful, we are working for you!

Keeping faith, that is what is important. It's natural to feel a little down every now and then. But it's important to keep the faith, and stay positive. We know eventually we will be getting the call, we just need to wait patiently for it.

11 months

11 months since we contracted out. We've been officially waiting parents for 11 months. It's not quite a year, but it's getting there... A lot sure has happened in these past 11 months, it's been a real roller coaster ride of emotions.

This "anniversary" doesn't seem quite as sad or melancholy as the others. I guess it's more that we're trusting it's going to happen when it happens. We are trying to enjoy life as it happens, do selfish things we won't be able to do when we have children and all the responsibilities that go along with them. And enjoy each other.

One thing that has never faltered is our strength and love for each other. We're very lucky, and we recognize that, because often things such as infertility or adoption can put a strain on a marriage. Fortunately we both are in sync with each other, and able to help each other, lift spirits when the other is down. If anything, this experience has brought us even closer together, and we give thanks every day for each other.

11 months.

Adoption Songs II (well, albums anyway)

So, it's been a while, (Tuesday, March 13th) since I started this "series" of adoption songs. I haven't forgotten, just been distracted by some other things :) Today, I'll focus on some adoption albums. Some I have been eyeing for a while, some I just recently came across.

Anyway, one CD I found I keep meaning to get, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet is The Spirit of Adoption. It's a collection of Christian artists whose lives have been touched by the miracle of adoption. Artists included on the album are: Steven Curtis Chapman, Sandi Patty, Geoff Moore, Rita Springer, Todd Agnew, Chuck & Lynette Giacinto, Sandi Padilla, Becky Wright & Tommy Brandt, and Mary Rice Hopkins.

Another one that I want to eventually purchase is Adoption....the Songs you Love. It used to be available on Target.com, but hasn't been for a while. The songs on this album are not the original artists, but rather a compilation of songs sung by a few artists.

Do You Have A Little Love to Share? Provides songs for all those involved in adoption, including birth parents/families as well as adoptive parents/families. You can listen to the songs, and see some of the lyrics by clicking on the title of the album.

And though I don't know the songs included on Little Angel Smiles, from what I've heard it covers all aspects of adoption as well. There are 18 songs written for birthparents, adoptive parents, waiting parents, and the child who brings them together. The reviews I have heard from this album seem to be pretty good.

SameSame:Songs for Adoptive Families looks like it will be a good one to use as a child grows up in our family. We will be using age appropriate materials to share their adoption story, and this CD appears to fit in perfectly with our goals. It contains both silly and serious songs, perfect for children and families.

Another along similar lines is My Forever Family CD. It is geared more toward international adoption, with songs such as "Two Countries" and "My Native Land", but the Songs for Grown Ups include songs that adopting and waiting families can relate to.

Anyway, those are a few albums I've come across lately....

Baby/Memory Books

Baby books for those adopting are hard to find. Often, they are called Life Books or Memory Books, etc. I found a website that has what is called "Lux Adoption Memory Album" and it comes in a variety of colors. They can be found at aimeej keepsake albums.

What is neat is the 20 pages of the scrapbook. They cover slightly different topics than your average baby book, but are not drastically different. They also aren't just international or domestic adoption specific, you can tailor it to suit your needs.

We're adopting, we don't have cooties...

I know sometimes it is difficult for others to understand what we are going through. They may not be sure how to handle us, what to do or say around us. What they don't realize is that it actually hurts more to not be included in things.

We're adopting- we don't have cooties.

Sometimes people are not sure how to act around us, or what to say to us (or any other couple or individual adopting). Just be yourself. Sometimes people are hesitant to talk about their kids, their experiences in parenting or pregnancy, etc. Please don't not talk about it. We want to know. We want to be included. It hurts more when we are not.

Just because our family is growing a bit differently than yours, or that our "pregnancy" is a bit longer than yours doesn't mean that we are any different than any other couple who are waiting to be parents. We love hearing about others, sharing accomplishments, moments, etc. We feel left out when we aren't told stories, aren't shown the pictures. We're just regular people, who care about people and want to know what is going on in their lives. That's what friends and family are for.

We know our time will come, and some day we will have children. We can't tell you when, we don't know. But sometime, someday, we will be parents too. But for now, don't be hesitant to share your joy, pictures, accomplishments, etc with us. It helps us learn, and gives us something to get excited about, knowing that someday we will get to have those experiences with our children.

Goodnight My Someone

My friend Shelley (Lawfrog) (of Toadally Talking)sent me the song lyrics to "Goodnight My Someone" from "The Music Man". She says, (and I quote, because she is really awesome):

I always loved the song Goodnight My Someone. Though it speaks of lovers, I think it applicable to adoption as well. Your little one is out there Liz. Keep praying and saying goodnight to him/her. He or she can hear you - it's communication from heart to heart.


Little does she know, but we actually do something similar. Every so often, either Mike or I say (or sometimes just think) - today is the day our child was born (or sometimes we say conceived). Because you know what, one of these days it's going to be true :)

Anyway, I wanted to share the song...

Goodnight My Someone

by Meredith Willson
From "The Music Man"
As sung by Shirley Jones, © 1962 Warner Bros. Records Inc.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goodnight, my someone, goodnight, my love.
Sleep tight, my someone, sleep tight, my love.
Our star is shining its brightest light,
For goodnight, my love, for goodnight.

Sweet dreams be yours, dear, if dreams there be
Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.
I wish they may and I wish they might.
Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight.

True love can be whispered from heart to heart,
When lovers are parted they say.
But I must depend on a wish and a star
As long as my heart doesn't know who you are.

Sweet dreams be yours, dear, if dreams there be
Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.
I wish they may and I wish they might.
Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight.

Goodnight! Goodnight!

Happy Mother's Day

Today is a bit of a bittersweet day for us. Two years ago, on Mother's Day, we found out we were pregnant, but it only lasted a week. Had it stuck, we would have had a 15 month old toddling around right now. But it just wasn't meant to be. I am missing my grandmother this year, it's the 2nd Mother's day without her. I know it's a silly little thing, but every year she sent me a Mother's Day card from my cat, Precious. It was always so sweet. My parents are very sweet, each year, when doing Mother's Day (both my sisters are mothers), they always include me by giving my a card. It's still not easy though. I am really thankful for them though, and them including me in the celebration.

My friend Kelly was so sweet. She brought me some flowers tonight. She said that I was a "waiting mother" and I ought to be included too. It made me tear up, it was so sweet. Mike has been working all day, and I've been home pretty much all day. I'm still recuperating a bit, and just wasn't feeling up to going out. His parents came down to go out to dinner (and we confirmed the dates for our Alaska cruise in 2008), and then went back home. So, it's been a pretty quiet day today.

But on the other hand, I am estatic for my friends. Those who are pregnant, Kate, Jess, Ro, Chris, (and a few who haven't announced it yet ;) ). Those who had babies this past year and are enjoying their first Mother's Day with their little ones, Ashley, Katie, Kim, Lisa, Julie, Melissa, Michelle, JulieAnn, (and I know I am forgetting some!) Those who had litle ones already, and are celebrating a 2nd or third or more Mother's Day, my sisters, Kathy, Kelly, Margaret, Kasey, Dana, Roberta, Teresa, D, (and more, I don't want to forget anyone, but I know I am!).

And don't forget my friend's who adopted this year! Rach, Alana, Kim, Karalee, Marlene, LisaAnne, AllyRae, Chelle, (and I know I am forgetting folks!)

Also, my friends who have adopted previously, Missy, Pegg, Gina... (and again, I'm missing folks)...

I want to send out a special Mother's day to those who are like me, still waiting for the call. Renee, Dawn, Tracey, Chrissy, Becky, Jen, Kerri, my Nest adoption girls, my blog friends, and my BOLU friends. Again, I know I am forgetting folks.

I am very lucky to know many wonderful women in my life. If I forgot you, please know it wasn't intentional, there are just so many of you!

Happy Mother's Day to all!

Mothers Day for Mothers in Waiting

I received this letter from Mardie Caldwell, the founder of Lifetime Adoption (she is an adoptive parent) and wanted to share it . I can totally relate to it, and it couldn't have come at a better time. Mother's Day can be a struggle for those who are waiting, waiting to be matched, adopting, trying to conceive, or struggling with infertility.

Mother's Day.....

For some mothers-in-waiting, it is a beautiful day filled with hope for the future. For others, it is a reminder of the blessings they are still seeking.

When I was adopting, I would dread the week leading up to Mother's Day every single year. It reminded me of my losses and my failures. I couldn't find joy, not even in the celebration of my own mother. At church, I felt I was the only one without a child without a corsage, and without the knowledge of when or if I was ever going to be a mother.

What I didn't realize at the time was that I was already a mother. God just had not yet let me to my son, the perfect child he had for me.

Mother's Day is a day to celebrate our own mothers and to celebrate the blessing of motherhood. It is, like every other day, a beautiful day that the Lord has made, only asking that we rejoice and be glad in the blessings He has provided. If your heart is aching, it can be hard to fulfill His request.

Consider a few ways to rejoice in Mother's Day as a mother-in-waiting...
*Take a quick trip out of town with your husband, to a nearby resort you've never been.
* Go for a hike, to the beach, or some other place that you can spend time together in God's creation
* Buy yourself something frivolous, something a "mom" would never indulge in.
* Celebrate with someone you know you has lost their daughter or mother. Remember, Mother's Day can be difficult for those who have lost their mother.
* Plan a Mother's Day Brunch for the women in your family
*Take single carnations to the local hospital, to share with women there who may not have anyone to celebrate with.

One lesson I've learned time and again, is that in my life, my own pain becomes less when I reach out in service to others, or take time to care for myself. On this Mother's Day, my prayer is that you celebrate the beautiful spring day that the lord had made, rejoicing in the blessings He has provided.

there is a little prayer at the end too...

Dear Lord,
Today I pray for patience, for the timing is yours for our adoption. I pray for wisdom and guidance for what to do and when to do it and for acceptance of the fact you have my adoption all planned out already. I pray for our child and our birthmother. Provide special protection around them. You know where they are and what they need. I trust you and place my fears at your feet. Please provide comfort in my time of waiting.
In His Name, Amen

Adoption on the Today Show

Well, Mardie's first segment was on the Today Show this morning. I was still sleeping, so I DVRd it so I could watch it later.

The main question Meredith Vieira asked was "is adoption right for you" And the segment was titled "all about adoption"

You can view the video here.

They showed a couple of folks who have adopted, both domestically and internationally. It was a nice little intro, showing lots of different families (and what makes up different families) and a variety of international and domestic adoptions.

Then, Meredith introduced Mardie Caldwell as the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center in California and also author of Adoption: Your Step-By-Step Guide.

They first discussed that you need to get as much information as possible when deciding to adopt. Including, international or domestic, age, race, and to use the internet, the library, talk to folks who have adopted, etc. Basically, do your research to determine if adoption is right for you.

They talked about the difference between domestic and international. Domestic, you have more information about the birthmother, no travel, possibly a newborn. More control over your adoption, and get history. Pluses for international- usually its a sure thing, you can adopt more than one at a time, some travel, opportunity to specify sex. She did caution that if you are single or over 40, sometimes you will face difficulties, especially in international adoption. But that international adoption is always changing.

Meredith then asked about the cost, and the wait. Those are typically the first couple questions that a potential adoptive parent is going to ask. Mardie said good news and bad news- domestic is typically $14,000/$15,000 to $30,000 and internationally it's $10,000 to $40,000. And she stressed that there is a tax credit (up to $10,000), and more and more now companies are offering adoption benefits (though I know it's not always the case- many companies still do not offer adoption benefits). As for the wait, Mardie said generally it is 9 months to two years for either domestic or international. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, and some are quicker than others, while some take longer (my friends who are adopting from China can attest to that).

They talked next about medical fears for those adopting internationally. There are doctors who specialize in international adoptions, and can tell if there are any medical issues with a child. They will translate records, help you to learn what to expect etc.

Then, they talked about the red flags to watch out for when looking into adoption. They are: be careful of anyone who doesn't have a contract when working with them (international or domestic), if anything sounds to good to be true, check it out, check out references, check with the BBB, attorney general offices, be cautious of anyone asking for money up front.

All in all, it was a very good primer for those who are interested in looking into adoption.

The Today Show- "I want a baby"

The Today Show on NBC is running a weeklong segment called "I want a baby...."

Today's show was on "understanding infertility". It gave an overview of infertility, and talked with a reproductive endocrinologist who recommended when you ought to start seeing help for infertility.

Later this week, they will be talking about adoption. The founder of Lifetime, Mardie Caldwell is going to be on the show. I got this email today:

Dear Elizabeth,

I'm writing to let you know about an exciting event happening this week. Award-winning author Mardie Caldwell is scheduled to appear live on NBC's 'The Today Show' on May 9.

Caldwell will be discussing adoption as part of a feature this week about different ways to build your family. She will be sharing some important upcoming changes to various adoption opportunities.

Check your local listings for exact times and be sure to set your TiVo so you won't miss this information!

Warmly,
The Staff @ American Carriage House Publishing

I'll be watching, it will be interesting to see what she has to say.

Our check in call and a quick vacation

Sorry the post is a bit late, we had our check in call on Monday night, then left the next day for a mini-vacation.

The call went ok. Typical stuff- don't need any new profiles, no news to report, etc. It was good to talk to her, but it was basically almost the same stuff.

We did learn one very interesting and very important thing that we need to correct. Apparently our home study (bringing back the homestudy issues (and more issues) we had with the homestudy lady again) does not reflect our preferences enough, and could limit us if some particular type situations came up if they are out of state. Apparently if they come up in Texas, it's a bit different since we won't need our home study immediately for the ICPC . But if they are out of state, we could run into some problems. We've tried emailing the homestudy lady again (according to our Lifetime coordinator, it's pretty normal to make adjustments periodically with the home study), but as usual, she is not responding to our emails or phone calls. And still hasn't made the adjustments we asked her to do a while ago. So frustrating.

So, we are going to contact our wonderful adoption lawyer and ask for some recommendations for someone to do a home study for us. He said we'd need to do another anyway most likely, using a home study person from our county. So, we figure we'll just go ahead and see about redoing it. How frustrating though.

We will still be considered for insta matches- we are just limited a bit and would have some issues if a few particular situations came up that we technically are not home study approved for.

We had a nice little vacation, a much needed get away. We flew out early Tuesday to San Francisco, and rode the trolley cars, went to Fisherman's Wharf and walked down the side of Lombard Street.

We got up Wednesday morning, and boarded the Golden Princess for a trip from San Francisco to Vancouver. It was SO neat to go under the Golden Gate Bridge on a cruise ship. We arrived in Vancouver on Friday morning. We literally got off the ship, then waited in line at the Port of Vancouver to get in line and board the Norwegian Star for a quick trip to Seattle. We got off the ship, walked around a little bit. That's one more state to mark off my list of states to visit (now, I only have North Dakota, Montana and Alaska!) Then, we caught a taxi to the airport and flew home. We enjoyed it a lot. It was my fourth cruise on Princess and Mike's third, but the first for both on Norwegian. It was an interesting experience. Anyway, we are glad to be home, and are relaxing, doing laundry, and basically trying to catch up.

We'll call in tomorrow or Tuesday to see what we can find out about a new home study. Ugh, how frustrating!