Great news for my friends

I was chatting online with a friend of mine who lives in California. They talked to a birthmother today, and were matched! That makes 2 of my friends who are using the same adoption facilitator as us who have been matched this month.

One other found her own birth mother through networking. And they thought it might be twins. Turns out, it's triplets! Wow, she'll be busy!

I am so excited for my friends. They are all going to be awesome parents :)

Nothing new to report for us. We're starting to network a bit. We figure it can't hurt. We plan on eventually having two or three children, so we might as well start networking now. You never know how are where you are going to be matched up with a birthparent. Who knows how many of our little ones will be matched up through our agency, and how many are matched through networking. We're prepared for any and all situations. We've got a great adoption lawyer and a home study. Everything but a match. They'll come eventually :)

Emotions

Adoption is a roller coaster, that's for sure.

Lately, I've been watching shows on discovery health - adoption stories and a few others. So sweet to hear other people's stories, yet so hard, it brings a tear to your eyes.

We can't wait to be one of those happy families.

We will say, it's nice to spend alone time, just the two of us. We are taking advantage of those "selfish" times, enjoying the moment of just us. Doing things like going out to dinner, sleeping in, just hanging out, things we won't be able to do quite as much when kids are in the picture.

But still, we welcome the challenge, want to be parents so bad that it hurts. Wondering why no one picks us. Sometimes we have to close the door to the nursery, not look at the tiny clothes that are waiting for a baby. The changing table, all ready to go. Diapers, wipes, blankets, everything waiting for a little one.

And stores. Baby things, baby stores, baby clothing. How can you miss a baby sale? Such cute little things in the baby section. It's so hard sometimes to go to the store, and avoid the baby section- be it clothing or supplies. We can't wait to shop there, buying stuff for our little one(s).

The ride sure is interesting.

relationships take work

We are very fortunate. Often times couples who go through infertility and/or adoption experience a more challenging relationship. Fights, arguments, blame as to who might be the problem, or what the problem is, what is causing it to take so long, etc. Lucky for us, we've never had any problems at all. We both realize what is happening, and what needs to happen. And as a team we work together to build our family. Has it been easy? No. But we never let the struggle to build our family interfere with our relationship. And for that, we are much happier. And, we know that our little ones will grow up in a strong and happy household.

This also applies to friends, family, loved ones. And it works both ways. Don't be afraid to share your good news, share your TTC efforts, pregnancy,etc. with those who are adopting or experiencing IF issues. Sure, we are struggling to build our family, but we love being involved, hearing good news about yours. We feel sad when we don't know, or don't find out about something that's been going on in your life. We appreciate everyone who treats our relationship normally, sharing their excitement in their pregnancies, births, etc. It actually means more to us than you can possible believe. It even in some ways makes us feel normal.

Now, I know that we don't necessarily represent all those who are struggling with IF or those who are building their family through adoption, but that's how we feel. And I bet there are others out there too who feel the way we do....

So neat to hear

It's truly wonderful to hear people's stories about how adoption has touched their lives. When people find out you are adopting, those that can relate hapily tell you about their experiences. Most of us, if not touched by adoption directly do know someone, a friend or family member, who has an adoption story to share.

Recently I went out of state for a meeting, and met a wonderful lady who shared her story. They did fostering for a while (I truly admire the folks who do that), and keep in touch with some of the children they fostered. After one left their house (he'd been with them for a couple years I believe) their daughter entered their lives. I saw a picture of both the boy and the girl, and they are absolutely precious.

A friend and I were in a craft store, shopping for scrapbook paper and for baby shower invitations for a friend of ours. As we were checking out, making small talk, somehow we must have said something about adoption. Our cashier told us that she'd been adopted from Korea when she was a little girl. It was very interesting talking with her.

And often I hear birthmother stories as well. As we started this journey, several folks who had been touched by adoption from the birthparent side (either themselves or relatives of theirs) approached us. It's been wonderful chatting with them, and in fact we've sometimes shared our profile, website, etc for feedback from them.

The stories go on and on. It's wonderful to hear people's experiences, and to realize that quite a few people have been touched by the joys of adoption.

Adoption Songs

My newest project, to find adoption songs. This is actually going to be part one in a series of posts, as I find some more songs :)

I'll start with a mix I found on the Adoptive Families magazine website. It is a mix that the magazine put together, and has songs written by folks who have been touched by adoption, and is available on iTunes (It's called, "The Beat of Love, from Adoptive Families"). Many of these particular tunes are folk music type (with a few surprises) but there are several different kinds of songs out there. I need to look into purchasing some of them...

A few notes on songs from the mix:

When Love Takes You In, written by Steven Curtis Chapman, who has a daughter adopted from China: 1 Jn 3: 1; Jn 14: 18; Psalm 68: 5-6. "...And somewhere while you're sleeping, Someone else is dreaming too, Counting down the days until, They hold you close and say I love you..."


This is Home, co written and sung by Lucy Kaplansky, is an intimate reflection on welcoming their daughter into their family.


Happy Adoption Day by John McCutcheon. "...There are those who think families happen by chance, A mystery their whole life through, But we had a voice and we had a choice, We were working and waiting for you..."


Just Like Me by Darryl McDaniels (who didn't learn he was adopted until he was 35) and Sarah McLachlan (who is also adopted) samples "The Cats in the Cradle" and turns it into a message of hope.

Ask Me Anything, is written and performed by Chuck Kent, father of two children adopted from China. It's from his album "Same/Same" which contains 11 original songs about adoption.

Love Takes the Best of You and Long Night Moon by Catie Curtis are both written during her experiences with adoption. She wrote Love Takes the Best of You while awaiting the adoption of her sister from Cambodia. Long Night Moon was written as she waited to bring her own daughter home from China.

Volunteering

One thing that was suggested to us, as we wait, is to volunteer. It's a little difficult to volunteer at the adoption center, but there are other ways that we can do it. So, we are looking into it, seeing what we can do.

Our facilitation center works with families and birthmothers across the US. One thing they have suggested is for us to locate contact information for individual organizations, such as health & abortion clinics, physicians offices, hospitals, college health clinics, shelters, continuation schools, and other potential locations in which birthmothers might seek services.

Then, they will send out information about adoption, Lifetime's services, etc. Including brochures and the magazine, and other tools to help educate professionals about Lifetime and it's support for birthparents.

One thing I do know is how to research like that. I did it with my former job, and am kind of doing that with my direct sales business. I figure it can't hurt to help out.... and who knows, we might find a birthparent in the process....

Revised our website

To be proactive, we revised our website a bit. We went ahead and paid for hosting, so there are no more ads on there. We also added more pictures, and changed up the wording about us. It can be found at www.MikeAndLizAdopt.com . As always, it's a work in progress, but it gives a lot of information about us.

Networking

One of the important things to do is network. Get the word out that we are adopting. Make business cards, spread the word. I am in a yahoo group with others who are also working with the same facilitator as us. One girl is very active in networking, and has given us some info about some yahoo groups to join. I think we are going to look into it and see what we can find. You have to be careful though, as sometimes there are scam artists out there. That's why it's good to have an adoption lawyer (which we have) to help ensure that all will go ok.

We found out about one situation, it sounded very interesting for us. We'd be perfect for them, and the situation was perfect for us. So, I sent an email to the birthmother. Unfortunately, she probably got at least 200o emails in a very short time period, so she probably didn't see our email. Hopefully she will see it though, and consider us to parent her child.

We've heard of a few other situations before, but nothing has worked out yet. We do have extra profiles, so if anyone ever hears of a situation, let us know and we can pass on a profile to you.

You never know what will happen. We really appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers, and for thinking of us when you hear of a situation.

Happy Birthday Mike

Today is Mike's birthday :)

Pray, hope and don't worry

Pray, hope and don't worry. Anxiety doesn't help at all. Our Merciful Lord will listen to your prayer.--- Saint Padre Pio

So important, for many different circumstances. We can apply this to a waiting family as well. Sometimes we get so anxious, wondering when it's going to happen. Then we stress about it, worry about it. And then feel bad because nothing has happened yet.

The best thing to do is to relax, though it's not always easy to do. Pray about it, and hope that something is going to happen soon. But don't stress or worry. Eventually something is going to happen, and our family will grow.

But for now, it's time to relax, enjoy. Relish the quiet time spent together. Sleep in. Work on scrapbooks and read books and magazines. Clean and organize the house. And take time to hope and pray a little bit each day. Eventually, when the timing is right, our prayers will be answered.

Though this is much easier said than done. Some days are better than others. Sometimes tears flow due to stress, worry, wondering. Knots in the stomach, feeling phyiscally ill. It feels like things are not happening as they should, why haven't they happened yet? Why is it taking so long, why isn't anyone looking at us? All those questions and anxieties...

In the end, it's hard to give up the control. We can't determine when a birthparent will look at us. Will deem us fit to parent a child or two. It's hard knowing that building your family is beyond your control. All you can do is hope and pray that the right birthparent will see our profile, or learn of us, and decide we are what they are looking for.

The best we can do is to relax, realize it is out of our control. And know that someday our hopes and prayers will be answered.

8 months

Well, we are at 8 months now. If we were pregnant, we'd most likely know if we were having a boy or a girl. We'd have the nursery all done. Bottles, diapers, clothes, all ready to be used. We'd be getting bags ready for "when it's time" to head to the hospital. We'd know that shortly we'd be bringing a baby home and into our lives. We'd be ready, prepared, and know what we were getting into, when it would happen (or at least a pretty good idea). But no. We don't know, know just as little now as we did when we started. Who knows when it's going to happen for us? It could be any time. Then, we'll scramble to get the bags together, the last minute things we need. Bottles, formula, diapers, etc.

We had our check in this week. Nothing new to report. They don't need any more profiles. So we leave it at that, and check in next month.

Adoption Stories

I just discovered a show on the Discovery Health Channel. It's called Adoption Stories. Similar to A Baby Story or Birth Day, but it focuses on the adopting family. Occasionally A Baby Story will do a show on adoption, but it is rare. So, it's nice to see a show that focuses just on adoption. From the few shows I have seen, it appears to focus on international adoption as opposed to domestic adoption. It also shows birthparents, and often shows the meetings between birthparents and adoptive parents. It's been very interesting so far...

Excited for our friends

A friend of ours (actually, the friend who told us about our facilition center) emailed me earlier today- they got the call that a birthmother wanted to speak to them. And, they were the birthmother's #1 pick. She emailed me back a bit later, and they are matched! I am so excited for them! Their baby to be is due in May. Wow, it really does happen fast :)

Dr Phil, adoption scams

Dr Phil did a show about Adoption Scams today.

I did not watch it, I knew what it was going to be about. But I will say that is the #1 reason for working with an agency or facilitator that is reputable. Some people skip that step to do it on their own, and unfortunately scams like this happen :( Some people are cruel to prey on those who have gone through so much emotionally. There are a few bad people like that out there that give adoption a bad name.

Decorating the Nursery

We added a few new wall decorations to the nursery, so I thought I'd share...



The wall plaque says "I am a dream come true". Oh my, how true that is....





My mom painted these sailboat pictures for us. We'll put our little one's name in between the pictures, over the crib.





These sailboat hooks match perfectly! You can see how clothes are accumulating in the closet- we want to be prepared when our little one arrives :)

understanding

On one message board I am on, there was a poll: What will you do if you can't have kids?

and the answers...

"Just adopt"
"If we can't have kids, it wasn't meant to be, we'll travel the world"
"we'll be the funnest aunt and uncle out there"
"if all else fails, we'll adopt"


These are the same people who act as if those adoptive parents "gave up". A few of those folks said things like "adopted kids are going to be screwed up- that it's genetic- there is something wrong with them."


It never ceases to amaze me how some people (not all, and fortunately not any in my close circle of friends and family) view adoption. I feel bad for those who are close minded enough not to learn more about what a wonderful option it is. I'll admit, we had a slight clue (we were considering adopting at least one child), so we didn't go into it totally blind. But wow, there is so much mis- information or negative perceptions out there. And the die hard IF people appear to look down on or judge those who choose to adopt. For some people, they choose adoption as their first choice. Not everyone adopts because they have fertility issues.


I was discussing it on another chat board with a girl who is adopted. She is in the process of now going through adoption herself. She said that she's heard it all, and being an adopted child, people don't realize how hurtful they can be. She said she is blessed to know adoption first hand, and that those prejudices and biases have never even been a part of her thought process.


Not every birthparent out there is horrible, messed up, or suffering mental problems. There are many out there who want a better life for their child. Something they cannot provide. What's so wrong with that? I admire the person who recognizes this, and does what is best for all involved. Unfortunately though, most often it's the negative stuff you hear regarding terminating parental rights.


The girl I was chatting with, she and her brother, a cousin, and a good friend were all adopted. And they all turned out perfectly fine. They went to good colleges, and are very succesful in their lives. This is typically the norm, you just don't hear about it as much.


As she, and a few other "adoptive parents" friends of mine all agree, our role is to be an educator, a teacher. As adoptive parents we will be advocating for change and education for the rest of our lives...


We are very fortunate in that those in our close circle of real life friends and family are very open to adoption, and very excited to see our family grow :)


Now, if we would only get the call...... ;)

Sometimes you need a baby fix

Waiting can be hard. We're so ready- just bring on the baby! We have names picked out, we have furniture, clothes, etc. All we need is the kiddo (s).

We were fortunate enough to see our nieces today, and get our baby fix. One is 4 months today, the other is 14 months today. Ah, so nice to hold those babies, play with them... enjoy them and see their smiles. They really have great personalities, and always smile when they see us.

We had a difficult task to do today. My dad and aunts have been sorting through my grandmother's house. Splitting up everything. Deciding who should get what and where it should go. My sisters each brought their daughters, and Mike and I met them and my aunts in the house. It was the first time I'd been in the house since the funeral. And it was something I needed to do. It sure did help to have the babies there. They really helped us a lot. Mike spent time with the older one while the "girls" except for the older niece all toured the house, sharing memories, looking at things. I held the little one, and that really helped me a lot. Being slightly distracted helped me get through it better.

Then we all went out to dinner. I had older baby duty, got to sit next to her, and keep her entertained while we ate. She is so much fun :) The both are. Seeing the grins on their faces, when we talk to them, hold them, smile at them, it really gives you a great feeling. They have wonderful personalities.

And we got our baby fix for a day or two :)

Fortunately, I have lots of friends with babies, and two nieces and two nephews, so we have plenty of kiddos around when we need a baby fix.

Our blog got referenced

Our blog got referenced in www.alittlepregnant.com yesterday. It's in the comments section - posted by Carol at Feb 16, 2007 3:44:11 PM.

It's the first "here". And yeah, of course one cheesy person posted some not so great stuff in the comment of my blog after that, but what do you expect- there really are all kinds of people out there..... Some intended to start more of a debate, or said some not so nice things as well, not exactly what I was going for there...

And, most likely they don't know (or haven't bothered to learn) the struggles that we went through with infertility. But we've moved on, and are in a great place for us.

As another commenter, "Andrea" on another blog said "I know cardinal rule No. 1 of commenting on blogs is to remember that this is someone's blog -- someone who has all the rights in the world to say whatever he/she damn well pleases." Obviously not everyone follows that logic ;)

weekend plans

Today and tomorrow are the Annual Valentine Cookie Decorating party. It's gotten so big, I throw them on both Sat and Sun now :)

Our nephew is going to come over and spend the night. He is coming for the cookie party today, and then will spend tonight and tomorrow night. He's going to be my cookie decorating expert for Sunday's party :)

We put a few things up on the wall in the nursery. I'll take pictures and post them tonight or tomorrow. We have a ways to go decorating wise, but it's a start :)

holding pattern

Well, nothing new to report here. We're just waiting, waiting, waiting. We have some friends coming over this weekend for a Valentine cookie deocrating party, and one of our nephews is going to spend the weekend here. I am hoping to maybe get some stuff up on the walls in the nursery. We'll see...

new website profile

When we revised our profiles, we were told that we could change up our online portion too. We were a little delayed in it, but we did get it done last week. Apparently you only can change it when you revise your profile, otherwise you have to pay for any changes to the site.

You can see our changes here.

Our thumbnail section wasn't changed. We didn't have guidelines for it, and apparently what we sent in was too similar to the old one, and above the word limit, so that didn't get changed. Oh well, maybe next time our profiles are reworked we can get it changed.

We are pleased though. We finished it and emailed it in late last week. They updated it and posted it today :)

Caught in the act

Precious has found a new place to catnap....


I went in to put something in the nursery, and was surprised to see her there. That's new for her, we guess she is making sure it's nice and comfy for when our little one arrives ;)

time goes by

Nothing new to report around here lately. We received an email back from our coordinator- they don't need any more profiles. They are all set with our contact numbers. Nothing new to report, talk to you next month. Ah, well.

We need to tweak the online portion of our website. They offered us the opportunity to change it if we want, so we might as well see what we can do. I guess that will be our next project.

We'd also like to possibly put some pictures up on the wall of the nursery this weekend. Do a little work in there, see what we can do. There really isn't too much we can do now, just sit and wait, but a little decorating might be theraputic.

We've both been fighting colds this week. I guess the flu shot didn't work this year. I've been sick more in the months of Dec, Jan, and now Feb than I have in a long time.....

Seven Months

We hit seven months being contracted out today. We emailed in our monthly check in, but haven't heard anything yet. I guess we just wait and see. We made sure that all our contact numbers were there, that they have friend and family numbers as well. We want to be reachable when the timing is right :)

another teleconference

We were invited to participate in another teleconference this week. It was interesting, some of the families were newly contracted, others had been around a while. They told us of some of the new and exciting things they are doing to help our process. One thing was a new website they've worked on. It's www.statebystateadoption.com . When you go on that site, they have one for each state. We are on the www.texasadoptivefamilies.com site. It's nice that our facilitating center is working hard to promote their families. They also suggested we write an article about a hobby, interest, or other characteristic that makes our family unique. They often put those on some of their marketing websites. So, we are going to see what we can come up with.

Fun weekend

We are getting a little parenting practice in this weekend. Our niece (she's 1) is here to visit. Some friends and I had a "babies on the brain, in the belly and on the hip" get together. We meet about once a month to visit, play with the babies, and socialize. Both my sisters came, bringing both my nieces and one of my nephews. The one year old niece came home with me, and is visiting for the weekend.

Mike did a great job adjusting the crib to it's lowest setting. We babyproofed the major rooms in the house (I'm sure she'll show us what else needs to be done ;) ). We're both having fun with her, she is such a sweetie pie. We took her out to dinner tonight, and she charmed everybody, customers and waiters alike.

We are going to have a busy day tomorrow, and she'll go home on Monday.

Starbucks, "The Way I See It"

Starbucks has started a campaign to get people talking. "The Way I See It" is a collection of thoughts, opinions, expressions, all printed on the Starbucks cups. Some quotes come from notable figures, some from customers.

I belong to a board that I joined a year ago, back when we were trying to conceive. It's for folks who are going through infertility issues, and have been trying 6 months plus. There are a few of us who have moved on to adoption, others who are still facing treatments. It's interesting to see how and what people will do to build their family, as well as how they view others.

We are completely comfortable with the path our family is following. We know it is the right way for us. Unfortunately for some of the folks on the board, they think that a biological child is the only way to build a family. They become bitter when it's not happening for them, and when treatments don't work. They also judge others who are seeking alternatives to building their families.


Anyway, back to Starbucks. One of the girls and her husband recently went to Starbucks, and got one of the cups with the quotes on it. This is the quote that was on her husband's cup:

"The Way I See It #208
I wish couples who desperately take every means to concieve a child would realize that adoption is a wonderful alternative. A child who becomes your child through adoption completes a family. Just as when you commit to your spouse or partner there are no biological ties, yet a family was formed. This child enters a family the same way! It is not blood and flesh that form a family, but the heart.
--Michele Johnson
Starbucks customer
from amego, Kansas."

Wow, did that cause a ruckus on the board. Many of the people on the board said that she was being judgemental. They called for a boycott of Starbucks. They started a letter writing campaign to complain about the quote on the cup.

Well, wasn't that the whole purpose of the program? To initiate conversation? I think they did a good job in getting conversation to flow.

I honestly am not offended by the comment, I thought it was well written. From the way I read it, "Michelle" was stating that adoption is a wonderful option, as it is. She wasn't telling them to stop trying to concieve, or to stop their treatments. She was just stating her opinion.

I applaud Starbucks for starting this program, and hope that they don't drop it.

We did our audio

We just recorded our audio tonight. Here is what we finally ended up with:


Mike: Howdy from Texas!

Elizabeth: We’re Mike and Elizabeth and we’re excited to be building our family through adoption. We can’t wait to become parents and embrace our child, raising him or her with values, goals, and family traditions.

Mike: We love to travel and we typically spend at least one weekend each month at our family home in the Texas Hill Country, most often surrounded by lots of cousins and extended family. As children we both spent many weekends and summers on road trips with our families, exploring and creating many fond memories together. We can’t wait to continue that tradition with our children. We look forward to building a life with our children that’s full of fun, respect, love, education and travel.

Elizabeth: Our town is a friendly one and located halfway between a major city and the beach. We enjoy sailing and walking along the shore as well as picnics and flying kites. In the city, we love to spend our days at the zoo, sightseeing, or shopping.

Mike:We want you to know how much we would care for, love, and treasure your child. We’d love to talk with you and learn what your interests and goals are. If you want to contact us please call Lifetime anytime. Thank you and God bless!

shopping today

We picked up an infant carrier today. We went and looked at several of them at Babies R Us tonight, and liked this one best. Mike was particularly fond of the Z shaped handle, and how it is easy to carry. We tried several different ones, with various handles, and felt this was the most useful for us. We also had checked safety standards, and knew that this one was a good one. Of course, the $10 off coupon we had made it that much of a better deal. We had a two gift cards to Babies R Us (they always come in handy!), so we used that to apply toward the purchase of the infant carrier as well. We plan to eventually get another base (they are also sold on their own) so that we can keep one in both of our cars.


While we were there, we took a look at the bassinets too. We are still considering if we will need one or not, as we are not sure if we are going to start our little one immediately in the nursery or in our room for the first few months or so. We have always liked the Eddie Bauer wooden one, but not the fact that the only one available was light wood. Well, much to our surprise, tonight we saw they had it in a darker wood, that matches our high chair! I am so glad they have it in that color. They don't have it online at Babies R Us yet, just in the store. But they do have it online at Target.

Sales

Sales are always good.

We received some coupons from Babies R Us. They are "Take an extra 15% off every clearance baby gear item" and "Save $10 on every car seat". We had other coupons too, but I gave them to a friend of ours- we already had the items that they were good for, or are not planning on getting the items they were good for.

So, we are going to go look at infant car seats. We were thinking originally of not getting an infant car seat, but now have decided it would probably be a good idea. Chances are very likely that we will end up with a little one who will need it. Worst case, we won't take it out of the box and we can eBay it if we never use it. But we figured, better safe than having to purchase it last minute! So, we are going to go look at them one day this week after work.

Audio

When working on our profile, the profile coordinator asked us if we wanted to add audio to our lifetime webpage. Of course we said sure, we'd like to do it.

But, how do you put your whole life, etc into a minute? This should be interesting. And it's hard! We are also trying not to make it sound like a personal ad ;) though in a way, I guess it is....

We have to type up a script and have them approve it. Then they'll give us the number to call in and record it.

You can see an example of what they want us to do by clicking on here and looking at the people who have "Includes Audio Message" by their name.

Interesting fact

You hear a lot about international adoptions, especially when celebrities and famous people adopt (they tend to adopt overseas). But it's interesting to see the true facts.

In an article in Adoptive Families Magazine (Dec 2006), I found the following:

International adoptions make the news, but the annual number of infants adopted domestically (excluding foster and relative adoption) is estimated to be between 25000 and 30000 - more than all international adoptions combined.

A thought shared by a friend

A friend posted this on a website (she had received it in an email), and it really does ring true for everyone. It's a good reminder to stop, smell the roses, and be happy at this point in your life. One of our goals this year is to enjoy life as it is until we get the call that a little one is about to enter our life. Right now is the time for us, and we plan on enjoying it as much as we can.

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.

The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now.

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, 'For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.'

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

So, treasure every moment that you have.

Stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy stop waiting start today.

Celebrate adoption month by month: January

There is a magazine we like to read, Adoptive Families. In fact, we need to get a subscription to it, because it's hard to find in the book stores. Surprisingly, it's hard to find any adoptive magazines in bookstores. Believe me, we've looked. The book section (particularly geared toward children) is also a bit light.

Anyway, Adoptive Families magazine had a pull out in their Dec issue to Celebrate Adoption month by month. So, I'll post it each month :)


For January: Lean on Me: make a special effort to help someone who is warming up to the idea of adopting. If you're already a parent, tell them about the highs, the lows, the intense moments, the unforgettable ones. Tell them why you'd do it all again.

Happy New Year!

Well, it's the start of a new year. New beginnings. We are so excited, we hope that *this* year we will expand our family by one or two members. We can't wait :)

6 months

Well, he hit the 6 month mark being contracted out. It's been an interesting six months so far...

Our second round of profiles are done

Well, we finished the second round of profiles. So, they will be shipped to the facilitator tomorrow, to get there sometime in the new year. We really do like them, and sure hope they grab attention and make us get noticed.

We used bright colors, and set it up like a scrapbook. It's easy to read, and we tossed in some great pictures.

In honor

A year ago, we lost a very special person. Grandmommy passed away Dec 26, 2005. We miss her a lot. We are very sad that she never got to meet our children, she loved the little ones. She always wanted her great grand kids to have wooden high chairs, and that was what she always bought them. So, when we contracted out with our facilitator, we went and bought a wooden high chair in her honor. It wouldn't have been right as a gift from anyone else. We've been thinking a lot about her today, and how much we miss her, but know that she is with grandaddy now, and is smiling down on us.

Merry Christmas

Mike and I would like to take this time to say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all who are following along our journey.

We hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season.

catching up

Well, we've been MIA because we've been sick this week. Our little niece celebrated her first birthday by giving us a stomach virus ;) Both of us were still a little weak from being sick earlier this month, so it hit us bad. We are finally starting to feel better :)

We also finished our profile. We went to proof it today, and it should be ready for us on Tuesday. It looks good, and we are going to look for some ribbon for it tomorrow. We'll pick it up on Tuesday, assemble it, and hopefully get it mailed out.

The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption's Home for the Holidays show was on tonight. It was very good, and very inspiring.

Holidays

Well, we fully plan to be home for the holidays, but we are prepared to go if we need to. We typically spend Christmas Eve with Mike's family, then go home and spend the night at our house. Christmas morning is our time, a tradition we hope to continue where Santa gets to come to our house on Christmas morning. It's our family time. Then, Christmas Day we will spend with Elizabeth's family. We are looking forward to it.

Of course, everything could change, and we could be spending Christmas at a hotel room who knows where :)

You never know :)

Positive Adoption Language

This is taken from our Lifetime family notebook:

The way we talk- and the words we choose - say a lot about what we think and value. When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption is a way to build a family just as birth is. Both are important, but one is not more important than the other. Choose the following postive language instead of negative language that perpetuates the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language, you'll reflect the true nature of adoption, free of innuendo.

Positive Language - Negative Language
Birthparent - Real Parent, Natural Parent
Biological parent - Natural Parent
Biological father - Begetter
Parent - Adoptive parent
Birthchild - Own child
My child -My adopted child, my own child
Child with special needs - Hard to place child, handicapped
Child from abroad - Foreign child
Was adopted - Is adopted
Make an adoption plan, choose adoption - Give up, give away, surrender, relinquish, place the child
Child entrusted to adoptive parents - Child placed for adoption, unwanted child
To parent - To keep
Born to unmarried parents - Illegitimate
Waiting child - Adoptable child, free child, available child
International adoption - Foreign adoption
Adoption triad - Adoption triangle
Permission to sign a release - Disclosure
Search,locate - Track down parents
Making contact with - Reunion
Terminate parental rights - Give up

profile revisions so far

Well, we sent in our profile revisions, and already got back a response. We'll have more of a response later, but it's a start.


Hi Elizabeth,

Thank you for submitting your profile changes. Please allow me a chance to compare them to your current version. I also wonder if you are interested in considering a new cover photo. Some families find that it can be helpful to try a new look when they haven’t seen the response they were hoping for on their first profile look. It’s a fine line because making revisions to your profile doesn’t mean that your first version was wrong, bad, or not working. In fact I’ve worked with several families who had good profiles and just wanted to try something new and to keep their profile updated. Many families feel that making updates and changes to their profile can help them feel proactive in their adoption plan.

I know you understand what an important tool your profile is; your profile is also one of the few things you can actually control with your adoption. When I look through our file with your original cover photos I notice a lot of similar photos and poses. It might be a great opportunity to take some new professional outdoor photos for your revision. I understand this time of year can be hectic but it is well worth the time to try something new.

One thing I recommend for your professional photo is wearing some color; the colors worn in your current cover photo are very similar to your skin tones and I want your faces come across as bright and warm as they really are in your photo. Also I recommend wearing fabrics that have a little more structure to them, such as a button up collared shirt for Mike and a blouse or shirt and jacket for you. You don’t have to look formal, just a little different than your everyday wear. Seeing the eyes of the adoptive couples is very important to birth mothers; wearing colors that show off your sparkling eyes can help. Consider darker colors in reds, blues, deep burgundy, or warm chocolate colors.

I look forward to working with you on any revisions to your profile. Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions.

So, it sounds like we need to do some more cover photos.... and we look forward to seeing what other suggestions are given to us.

new profile

We worked really hard, delayed some other stuff, but finished the profile revisions today. They got sent in to the new profile coordinator, and hopefully she will be able to check them out and give us some feedback. If they work out well, we will hopefully be able to print them and have them sent in soon. We'd like to have them in by Christmas (if not earlier) if possible....

starting late for Christmas

We've both been sick with colds. First Mike had it, then Elizabeth. So much fun. So we are a bit delayed in getting our act together for Christmas. Good thing we have the extra week!

When Mike was sick, I put the lights outside. We are not hanging any from the house this year, but we did hang some from the two trees in our front yard. We also put up cute ones that stay on the ground- they are around our flower bed. I hung snowflake lights in the office window- they blink :)

Today, Mike put up the Christmas tree. I was test driving cookies for our cookie party this weekend. It's going to be a lot of fun, but I have a TON of cookies to bake. It's a lot of fun to have everyone come and decorate, and a lot of fun to see all the kids!

I need to get cracking on our Christmas cards too. And I plan on decorating the tree as I am making the cookies for the cookie party later this week. Lots going on! I love this time of year!

a holiday blurb

On the last conference call we were asked to write a little blurb about the holidays as well as another about just general family life.

This is what we sent in, a blurb from Mike about the holiday season:

One thing I love about Christmas season is our cookie decorating party. Elizabeth makes hundreds of sugar cookies, and we invite the neighbors, all our friends, and all the kids to come to our house and decorate them. It's lots of fun to visit with everyone, and we all look forward to it every year. We can't wait to have our children participate too.

Nov 30: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 30

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #30 Submit a story connected with your adoption experience to local, state, or national publications... and complete your collage.


Well, I have to admit, I'm so behind, I'm still working on my collage ;)

5 months

Today we hit the 5 month mark from when we contracted with Lifetime. So much has happened since then. We've learned a lot. Some friends from our Lifetime yahoo group have been matched, and have a son. We learned we need to rework our profile. We've set up a nursery. We've had a home study. So many exciting events....

Nov 29: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 29

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #29 Give your child/children, adopted and not, an extra hug today.


Well, we will give Precious extra special attention today ;)

Our friends from our facilitaton center have a boy!

Some friends from my Lifetime yahoo group are new parents! Their soon to be son was born today :) They are currently with the birthmother and the baby, and hopefully will be able to take the little one home next week.

I really am excited that someone in our little "group" got matched up and the baby was born. I remember when she joined our group, and then when she got the call, chatting with the birthmom. And now, so exciting!

Nov 28: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 28

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #28 Share your adoption story with members of your faith.



Faith- it has a whole lot of meanings. I am wearing a bracelet my sister gave me, It says faith on it. It reminds me to keep faith that things will happen when they are supposed to happen. I wear it just about every day....

Nov 27: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 27

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #27 During the Thanksgiving Day meal ask each person to share that for which he/she is most thankful.

This one is a little off, as Thanksgiving was last week ;) But anyway, we are very thankful for our friends and family, and each other....

We hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

Nov 26: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 26

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #26 Encourage a family you know to consider adopting.


While we don't specifically target anyone, we are more than happy to share our experiences with those who ask. And, the more you talk about it, the more you find out about people who are considering adoption.

Nov 25: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 25

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #25 Volunteer to be a support to another adoptive or birth family.


I've mentioned this before, we are on an adoption support yahoo group for others who are adopting from our adoption facilitator. It's a great group, with lots of support. One of the families was recently matched up, and their baby is due any minute now :)

Nov 24: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 24

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #24 Subscribe to an adoption magazine.


Actually, that's on our Christmas list - a subscription to Adoptive Families Magazine and Adoption Today magazine.

Happy Thanksgiving

We hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. We have a lot to be thankful for, our friends, our family, and each other.

Have a great holiday everyone.

Nov 23: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 23

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #23 Send a note of thanks to someone who helped make your adoption or search dreams a reality.

Nov 22: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 22

Celebrate Adoption Today Day #22

Attend a support group meeting.


We are looking for adoption groups in our area, but haven't found any yet. We are on an online group for Lifetime families, and it's great.

Nov 21: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 21

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #21 Share a birth family tradition or recipe for your Thanksgiving meal coming up.




We are looking forward to Thanksgiving. We are going to the house on the Guadalupe River with my sisters and their families, my parents, and my brother.

Nov 20: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 20

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #20 Ask your child to write a letter to a celebrity about their adoption experience.



Again, not one we can participate in. But someday :)

Nov 19: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 19

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #19 Cook a meal that reflects your family heritage.



We had chicken strips for lunch and hamburgers for dinner :)

Nov 18: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 18

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #18 Get together with other adoptive or birth family members for dinner.


Actually, we are going to a birthday dinner in honor of Mrs D. It's her 100th birthday dinner party, and we are excited that we were invited to share in her special celebration.

Time to rework the profile

The owner and founder of our facilitation center called us today. She had some great pointers and tips on things we ought to do to change up our profile a bit. So we are going to do that. Our current ones are ok, she said, but there are a lot of clues and things in there that are most likely getting us passed over. So, she helped us figure out which pictures to use/not use and how to change up the wording a bit. We are looking forward to changing things up, and hope to have them completed pretty soon.

Nov 17: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 17

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #17 Take a family photo.


Well, we can't do that today, as Mike is in New Hampshire for a work road trip. But we do need to do it again, as we need to rework our profile a bit.

Nov 16: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 16

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #16 Ask your local library to display adoption-related books.


You know, one thing we have realized is that it's hard to find age appropriate adoption related books. You can go online and find them, but to actually see them in person is difficult. Barnes and Noble and Borders carry a few in the actual store, and quite a few online. Even Target carries quite a selection online. But you can't find any in a Target store. Nor can you add them to a registry. You can add them to a wish list, but not a baby registry.... Babies R Us has one adoption book in the store, and not all stores have it. They also have one book available online (not the same as the one in the store).

Nov 15: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 15

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #15 Share with someone close to you how adoption has affected your life.




We do this every day... this blog is an example ;) Because, adoption has affected our life, and we are quite excited about it.

Nov 14: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 14

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #14 Talk about the birth family of your child(ren) in a positive way.


Can't do that yet, but we look forward to doing it some day.....

Another teleconference call

We were asked to participate in a teleconference call tonight. It was very interesting.

It was titled: How to Survive the Holidays While Waiting. Mardie Caldwell, founder and CEO of Lifetime Adoption, addressed the concerns of families who are waiting to adopt and now face the coming holidays, the prospect of seeing extended family, and all the emotions that go along with this season.

This teleconference also included insight and encouragement for some common areas:

How to answer questions from your relatives.
How to stay positive.
How to turn lemons into lemonade.
Remembering to take time to reflect.


We really enjoyed it, and got a lot out of it. It helped us to reflect, and gave us some good pointers. We were really excited about the information we received, and plan on using some of the tips and hints we were given.

Nov 13: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 13

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #13 Learn more about positive adoption language.


This is a great activity day, and the links shown in positive adoption language have some great hints and tips to use. We've posted about this before, and strongly believe that using postive adoption language is important. It's great to share with family and friends, and eventually teachers and others who come into contact with the family and the future child.

Nov 12: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 12

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #12 Play in the leaves with your family and discuss how each family tree is unique.



Well, we are not going to do this, but we are going to take our 4 year old nephew and almost 11 month old niece to The Children's Festival :) Mike and I are looking forward to spending the afternoon by ourselves with the little ones.

Nov 11: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 11

Celebrate Adoption Today
Day #11
Call your local or state elected officials to find out where they stand on adoption issues.


We don't know about the elected officials in our local area, League City, but we do know about some folks in our parent's area. Congressman Kevin Brady, 8th District of Texas, is himself an adoptive father of two, and has done quite a few things to help pass adoption laws. He has worked to help pass laws that benefit both the children, and also to help increase the tax adoption credit for adoptive parents.

Nov 10: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 10

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #10 Take a family walk.


We did this. It wasn't as long as our usual walk, but we did get a short one in. One thing Mike and I enjoy doing is spending time together, taking a walk. We often do it after Mike gets home from work. We are looking forward to pushing a little one in a stroller soon....

Nov 9: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 9

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #9
Make a Christmas/Kwanzaa/Chanukah ornament or gift which reflects the ethnic heritage of your family members.


Well, again, another that doesn't really match to us yet. Rather than going ethnic heritage, we go with interest. So, we have sailboat and racecar ornaments.

Putting It All Together

We have several different websites, one for our blog, one for our profile, etc. So, we put it all together. It'll be easier to remember one website address, and you can gain access to everything there. The site is www.MikeAndLizAdopt.com . We also typed up an "about us" section, pretty similar to our profile, it tells a little bit about us ;)

Nov 8: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 8

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #8 Suggest forming a group at school to address the positive aspects of adoption.


Well, we really aren't to that level yet, as we have no kids in school. But I am spreading the word on message boards and other groups I am in.

Nov 7: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 7

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #7 Write to elected officials in support of ballot measures that help children and families.



Well, I guess we'll see who gets elected and decide if we ought to write letters or not. We are not typically ones to write letters to elected officials.

Another conference call

We were on another Lifetime conference call tonight. It was interesting. It was for contracted folks, folks in application, and folks who are interesting in adoption. It was geared more toward the whole adoption processes versus just one aspect, but was a great informational tool.

Nov 6: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 6

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #6 Light candles during dinner to remember children who are waiting for permanent families.


Well, that's not unusal for us to light a candle during dinner or anytime for that matter. I lit one after dinner (we were on a chat during dinner) to remember...

Nov 5: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 5

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #5 Work on a life book for your child or your own journal.


We are doing a few things for this. First, we have the book Our Chosen Child that we are going to use as our baby book. It's perfect for our situation.

Second, I purchased a scrapbook. I actually found it at the Dollar Tree store, and the funny thing is, the brand is called Miss Elizabeth's. It basically is just the cover, but you buy inserts to make the scrapbook. It's expandable, held together with a ribbon, which is fantastic and unique. My plan is to scrap the journey of adoption, to show all that we are going through as we build our family.

Nov 4: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 4

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #4 Write a letter to the editor about a positive adoption story.


I don't really have any editors to write to, so not sure what I'll do with this one...

Nov 3: Celebrate Adoption Today

NOVEMBER 3

Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #3 Read an adoption story as a family.


We have several interesting adoption books for both children and adults. We are always on the lookout for ones to share with our future children, and have found a few so far. One thing we have noticed though is that most have to be bought online. Babies R Us carries one book in store (and not all carry it), Target rarely has any, and both Barnes and Noble and Borders don't have but a few titles at any given time. We had wanted to register for some, but found that even though Target has quite a few online, they can't be added to a baby registry, only a wishlist. Quite disappointing.


These are the books we have so far:

for kids:

Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born, by Jamie Lee Curtis

How I Was Adopted, by Joanna Cole

Happy Adoption Day, by John McCutcheon


for adults:

The Complete Adoption Book, by Beauvais-Godwin and Godwin, Esq

AdoptingOnline.com, by Mardie Caldwell

Adoption for Dummies, by Barr and Carlisle


as a baby book:

Our Chosen Child, by Levy and Pelikan

Nov 2: Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #2 Rent a video that shows adoption in a positive way. I plan on watching the free streaming video one (Out of the Fog) and choosing a few of the others to put in my netflix queue.


A few that are recommended:


Classics


Blossoms in the Dust (1941)
Greer Garson stars as Edna Gladney, a pioneer in the world of adoption agencies. While instrumental in having the word "illegitimate" removed from Texas adoption files, she remained a staunch supporter of sealed records. Drama. Not rated.

Curly Top (1935)
Bachelor millionaire, orphaned youngsters, love, romance and lots of song and dance. Happily ever after with Shirley Temple in her prime. Musical. Rated G.

Inn of the Sixth Happiness (1958)
The story of Gladys Aylward, adoptive parent and missionary in China, starring Ingrid Bergman. Not rated.

Men of Boys Town (1941)
Spencer Tracy as Father Flanigan is back in Boys Town, this time for three stories geared to touch the heartstrings. Drama. Not rated

The Lady is Willing (1942)
You just can't miss Marlene Dietrich as a woman whose maternal instincts get fired up when she finds an abandoned baby. Comedy. Not rated.


Contemporary

Big Daddy (1999)
Adam Sandler stars in this story of a man who adopts to impress his girlfriend. Oh well. Foolishness for the family. Comedy. Rated PG-13.

Flirting With Disaster (1996)
Jealous adoptive parents, hippie birth parents, and an over-sexed adoption consultant are only a few of the hurdles Mel Coplin (Ben Stiller) faces on his way through a farce of search and reunion. Comedy. Rated R.

Immediate Family (1989)
Couple seeking to adopt meets teenage expectant couple. Excellent cast includes Glenn Close, James Woods, Mary Stuart Masterson and Kevin Dillon. Drama. Rated PG-13.

Losing Isaiah (1995)
A strong story of conflict and resolution very much in tune with today's issues of addicted babies, transracial adoption, and birthmother rights. Jessica Lange, Halle Berry, Samuel L. Jackson. Rated R.

Mommie Dearest (1981)
As an adoptive mother, Joan Crawford was very different from the picture she presented to the world, according to this film based on the story by her daughter Christina. Drama.

Second Best (1995)
Single parent adoption is the backdrop for this exploration of a man's and a boy's dreams and disillusionment. Drama. Rated PG-13.

Secrets & Lies (1996)
The phrase "secrets and lies" is commonly used in the adoption community to mean sealed records, shame, guilt, or fear. But the secrets and lies of this remarkable film go far beyond and take us into the very real - and very human - failure to communicate that marks so many family relationships, adoptive and not. Rated R.

The Lost Child (2000)
A Hallmark Hall of Fame original film (2000), this true story of a Jewish adoptee's discovery of her Navajo heritage is a powerful work that explores adoption and interpersonal issues, as well as these two strong cultures.

Stuart Little
The movie isn't like the book. No movie ever is, but the story line has been altered - making Stuart an adoptee rather than biological child - and, of course, there's the usual book-to-movie change from imagination (book) to visual certainty (movie).


Documentary/Educational

Bonding Through Touch: Infant Massage for Adoptive Families
This video, produced by Three Hearts, LLC, teaches parents how to massage their infants and children with a loving touch. Massage promotes attachment and bonding by reinforcing gentle, close, loving contact between parents, siblings, and the new child.

In The Sun: A Complete Guide to Adoption
A "how to adopt" video. It includes information about the various types of adoption, children (ages, domestic, international), legal and financial considerations, presented in a series of conversations with couples and comments by adoption professionals.

Precious Cargo
Originally aired on November 11, 2001 (PBS), this remarkable film is being made available on video. The story follows a group of young Vietnamese adoptees on a homeland visit, and includes information on Operation Babylift. The film is both political and intensely personal.

Out of the Fog: Mothers' Voices
This educational video featuring birthmothers is being made available free on the Web. Addressing issues such as open records, language, choice, and adoption practice, the video is the creation of independent filmmaker Suzie Kidnap.... It can be found here.

Seven Core Issues of Adoption
Sharon Kaplan and Deborah Silverstein discuss the issues of loss, rejection, guilt and shame, grief, identity, intimacy, and mastery/control with an audience of triad members. Excellent choice for support groups and adoption educators.

Unlocking the Heart of Adoption
This documentary, filmed by Sheila Ganz over the course of several years with input from families around the entire spectrum of adoption, is intended to educate, encourage dialog, and raise awareness. An excellent choice for educators and adoption professionals, as well as our families.

Was I In Your Tummy, Mommy?
This 90-minute video was created by Spence-Chapin's Adoption Resources Center and presents teaching sessions with parents addressing the "tummy" question, as well as questions about children who don't ask questions, and dealing with questions and comments from others.

So apparently my sister's name....

....is Molly not Holly. Well, according to the home study that the case worker we contracted out wrote. And my dad earned a Masters in Civil Engineering and Behavior at Rice University. She got Mike's mom's school completely wrong, misspelled my other sister's last name, and lots of other stuff.


These are just a few of the many multiple mistakes the home study lady did. You can tell she did it in a hurry...

I've emailed our coordinator to see what she has to say about it.

Apparently, according to our lawyer, we might have to do it all over again anyway... so I'll see if we pursue it further with her or not. The possible home study we might need isn't done until we are placed with a child. This home study is basically for the facilitator and to show the ICPC (Interstate Child Placement Compact) that we are fit to parent. And, the chances (especially finalizing the adoption in Galveston County) of us needing a new one to go with the adoption records are pretty high.

It's a shame this happened, and so wrong!

Geez, talk about a royal pain. She took over 2 months to do it, cashed our check, and then did it wrong!

November is Adoption Awareness Month

November is Adoption Awareness Month. I have found an Adoption Month Calendar- an activity every day. They all pertain to the family and to adoption. So, I'm going to do it. I'll post each day what the activity is, and what we did (or are going to do) that day.


NOVEMBER 1 :Celebrate Adoption Today

Day #1 Get thirty sheets of paper in multiple colors. Daily write something about your adoption journey. On Nov. 30th, assemble into a collage.


I am not going to do a collage, but rather a scrapbook. I was at the dollar store today and found the cutest scrapbook and scrapbook paper. So, I am going to do it this month and chronicle our adoption journey thus far.

Halloween was fun

We had a blast last night passing out candy to kids. Mike is going to be such a great dad! He was so excited everytime the bell rang, and loved looking at the kid's halloween costumes. We had 55 trick or treaters.

Mike had bought lots of halloween candy, and I went and bought fruit snacks for the toddlers/babies and picked up some crayons too. Stuff A Friend is having a coloring contest, so I printed off the coloring sheets, and made a booklet of them. The sheets had one of our website addresses on them (www.stuffafriend.biz/members/mikeandlizadopt) that tells about our adoption. I put Stuff A Friend stickers on the crayons with my Stuff A Friend website: www.stuffafriendtx.com .

So when the doorbell rang, Mike passed out the candy and I passed out the crayons and coloring sheets. The kids were really excited about it, we heard one little boy go screaming down the driveway to his mother "MOM! Crayons and Candy! This is the BEST house ever!"

Happy Halloween!

We are staying home and passing out candy this year. It's Mike's first year to get to do it, as he is usually on call. He's excited.

He went yesterday to buy the candy to pass out. He got tons of stuff! He wants to pass out good stuff, and be very generous to the kids who come by.

I know he's going to be a great dad :)

4 months

It's been 4 months since we contracted out with our facilitator. Four months since we began this exciting journey. A lot has happened in those 4 months. We've prepared a nursery, made a profile, had a home study, found a lawyer. Time sure has flown by!

Monthly Check In with Coordinator

I sent in an email today for our monthly check in. We asked if profiles were ok, and what was listed as our preferences. The check in was brief, and I guess she's considering it for the month of November too....


Hi Elizabeth and Mike,

Thanks for checking in (let’s say for the month of November :) ); we are good with your profile count—no additional ones are needed at this time. Listed below is your preference range that we have you listed as:

Age Range, Twins, Sibling Group, Race, Gender, Contact with Birthmom, Substance Usage, Birthmother Expenses.

Let me know if you have any changes. Have a great weekend.


For the most part it was right, we are interested in up to age two, would love to be considered for twins and sibling groups, etc. But the birthmothers expenses we had written negotiable (we are not limited to what was listed), and the substance usage (the hard stuff) we want to take on a case by case basis. So I emailed her back to ask a few questions.

I guess we don't get to talk to her until December now. It sure can be discouraging sometimes.

Revising profiles

We are going to revise our profiles a bit. There have been lots of changes in our lives recently, and we thought, why not? Also, I want to make it a little easier (and hopefully cost less) to print. The last ones we loved, but it's so expensive to print them on 11x17 paper and then cut them down. So, that's the next big project.

new pictures

We sent in some pictures from our road trip, more "action shots". We also sent in pictures of the nursery, they say that some birthmoms like to see the nursery and where the little one will end up. Lifetime added one of the nursery pictures to our profile. It can be found here: Lifetime Profile .

Kisses in the Wind, a poem

I found this poem, it's sweet... our future child may or may not be born yet, but it's nice to know that at some point there will be a child for us... This is a great poem for all who are adopting, be it domestic, international, a baby or an older child...

KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

--- Unknown

two years

Two years ago we married our best friends, each other. We took vows to love, honor, cherish each other, and when the timing was right, to start a family. We had no clue of the journey we'd be on to build our family, but we eagerly looked forward to it. It's been an interesting ride, but one we'd gladly do all over again. As each day goes by, our love, our friendship, our committment grows stronger. And we look forward to being awesome role models for our little ones.....

checklists

Mike is great at making lists. Especially for travel. The one he (and I) are working on now is a list for what we will need when we get the call. It's a very good idea. Especially since we will need to travel possibly at a moment's notice.

So, lists he makes. There are two of them. One is for us, things we will need. And one is for what we will need for baby. It's great to be prepared. He's looking for a guideline, and found one through one of our adoption books. Now, he'll get it together for us.

My job will be getting the stuff together from his lists. We make a great team :)

Waiting... Waiting... Waiting

This is the worst part. Nothing new to report, it's like we are at a stand still. Our profiles are out, it's just time to wait. Someday (not soon enough for us) we will get that call.

Yesterday, we went to a gala with my sister and brother in law. The (at least 16 year old) babysitter was referencing her "old" dad, and we found out he is 37! Just a year older than us, and here we are, waiting for our first.....

Some folks say, "don't think about it" and "when you are not thinking about it the call will come". That's pretty similar to telling someone who is trying to concieve to "relax, it'll happen". Very frustrating, because you don't know how or when it will happen, and you can't not help but think about it. Your hands are tied, you want something so bad, yet can't get it, don't know when you will get it, when the call will come....

We have a new niece

Our newest neice, Kathleen Elaine, was born on Wednesday morning. She is such a sweet baby. Her older brother Ryan (2) isn't quite sure what to think of her yet, but her cousin Blake (4) was excited to meet her. Her cousin Ella (10 months) didn't understand much either when she met her, but Ella smiled big at Kathleen.

We can't wait until we are able to add to the cousins! Hopefully the call will come someday soon....

We are back

Well, we made it through our trip, and no phone calls.... We had the home phone forwarded to my cell, just in case, but didn't get any phone calls from Lifetime. It's ok. We had a great time, and didn't have to stress about having to find an airport, getting stuff together, etc.

Always be prepared

So, we are about to embark on a ten day road trip. My cousin is getting married in San Diego on the 14th. So, we decided since Mike has two weeks of vacation left that we'd take off and wander around on our way. (And hopefully knock off a few more states of my list). We don't have but a few set in stone plans, so it's going to work out well for us.

We emailed the adoption coordinator to tell her of our road trip, and when we'd be back. We forwarded our home phone to the cell phone. And we are always going to be within a decent drive of an airport. So, if the call comes, we can go park our car at the airport, and go wherever we need to go. We'll stay as long as we need to, then fly back to get our car. Then drive home (with baby) from there.

You never know, so it's best to always be prepared!

Action Shots

So, one thing they recommended on the conference call was to have more actions shots. Showing your life as you go day to day. Have the camera ready all the time, just take pictures of yourself in your every day life. We had a friend over for dinner tonight, and had her take a picture of us at the dining room table. We made sure to include the high chair in there, as they also recommend showing stuff like that you already have around the house. They say that pictures of nurseries, baby stuff around the house, etc all help show the birthparents that you are ready and able to take a baby at any time....

Teleconference

So, we have our first teleconference with our adoption facilitator tonight. The founder of Lifetime will be leading it. We are looking forward to it. It's a "New Family Orientation" teleconference and will cover topics such as:
* The importance of being available to be presented to every birthmother that matches your preference.
* How you can ensure you will not miss out on a situation.
* The 3 things you MUST have to be successful with Lifetime.
* How to be sure you are ready to adopt.

It's supposed to help us understand Lifetime, adoption, and what to expect. It should also have some great tips for us.

Definitions

Natural Child: Any child who is not artificial.
Real Parent: Any parent who is not imaginary.
Your Own Child: Any child who is not someone else's child.
Adopted Child: A natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.

--- Rita Laws, PhD

I came across this quote as I was looking for some other quotes to share with a friend. How true it is.